russbost
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 06:37 PM |
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Divorce Advice
Sorry if this is a bit lengthy, the questions are all being asked on behalf of a friend who is going thro' a bit of trauma at present - No,
it's not that ubiquitous friend which is really me, this really is for a friend - I am happily married (if there is such a thing!)
This couple have been married for about 20 years, have 2 daughters aged 16 & 13. She is fed up with the relationship & says she wants a
divorce, he didn't initially & has tried to improve the situation but she has been completely negative & adamant she wants to split up -
no other parties are involved & there has been no "abuse" or anything like that. They have a house worth around £130,000 with a
mortgage of about £30,000 no other significant assets other than, I guess, his pension. he earns a lot more than she does, I think about £500 per week
to her about £120 per week part time. What are his liabilities with regard to the children/mortgage etc., I seem to remember something about her being
entitled to live in the house until the kids have left full time education or home whichever is the sooner, if that's the case who pays the
mortgage (she wouldn't be able to afford half) & what about other bills etc. He's contacted CAB who, apparently have told him that if
she doesn't pay her half of the mortgage he can evict her! providing he is available to look after the kids - that doesn't sound right
(sounds far too fair!!! ).
Any lawyers out there? Or anyone with similar experience in recent times (been divorced myself but that was 24 years ago with no kids involved) who
could advise? (This sites never let me down yet!)
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andyharding
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 06:40 PM |
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Couldn't give any more specific advice other than to settle out of court or 1/2 of what they have will be pissed away on legal costs etc.
Are you a Mac user or a retard?
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blakep82
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 06:49 PM |
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ok, i work for RBS mortgages, if they are both named on the mortgage they would both be liable for the mortgage, and any missed payments would affect
both their credt ratings. if she can't afford the mortgage on her own (or even half the payments) then a transfer of title (removing him from
the mortgage & Deeds) into her sole name is likely to not be a possiblilty, he could transfer it to her sole name with a further advance/extra
borrowing to buy her out so she can buy her own place.
transfer of title is not cheap, with RBS and nat west its £150 to us, plus solicitors fees (aroung £350 usually)
hope this helps on some, but having never been married i can't really say much for the rest of it.
have him speak to his mortgage lender about that, the divorce solicitors should be able to advise on the rest
________________________
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don't write OT on a new thread title, you're creating the topic, everything you write is very much ON topic!
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snapper
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 07:06 PM |
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Here is the bad news, whoever has the kids, has the house until they finish full time Ed, if he carries on paying his part of the mortgage then at the
time they leave full time Ed he could get a fair proportion of his part, if they sell up and split the equity the other party could be entitle to some
finacial support. His pension will also be ravaged.
Once all this is over the bloody CSA will take 20% of his earnings. Any debts are joint and seperate until decree absolute so watch out for this, she
will be entitle to legal aid but this will be taken off the sale of the property.
Tell him not to leave the property until it is all settled and fight for your kids, i spent 13 years doing 1200 miles a month just seeing mine +
double the mortgage + the CSA and i was earning 2/3rds what he does.
Oh and the money grabing lawyers did us both for 5,000 each.
This is the hardest thing to do but will pay dividens financialy and emotionaly, sit down with a cool head and work out what you both want from this.
At least you will both have a place to work from.
Wish him well, its a long journey.
The kids don't deserve this so pay a lot of attention to there thoughts and wishes, you may be surprised.
I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to pi55 my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)
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froggy
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 09:03 PM |
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on a cheerier note my mate ran a very tidy tyre business and his missus got caught playing away ,she set her laywers to work getting half his business
which he sold for £1 sent her a cheque for 50p and told her to pay her legal fees out of it
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Aboardman
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 09:21 PM |
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and dont just think he cannot win custody of the kids, my god sons live with the dad after he won custody.
there was no other people involved in the split.
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Hellfire
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 09:34 PM |
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In my advisory experience there is very rarely 'no other parties' involved... there's always someone lurking in the background.
You're just lucky if you get away with it!
Steve
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Chippy
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| posted on 12/4/07 at 10:32 PM |
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I divorced some years ago, and the court gave her the house, untill the kids had finished full time education. I had to pay maintenance for the kids,
not her as she had full time employment, and pay the mortgage in full. This all continued in that manner for TWELVE f*****g years, and in that period
couldn't afford a pot to p**s in. Best advise, disapear. Ray
To make a car go faster, just add lightness. Colin Chapman - OR - fit a bigger engine. Chippy
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jonbeedle
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| posted on 13/4/07 at 05:51 AM |
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Easy for an outsider to say I know, but after twenty years it must be worth salvaging. No one wants to start again after that length of time. Grass
is always greener etc. I've been married 24 years and we've had our moments I must admit but I'm bloody glad I stuck with it and
I'm glad my wife stuck with me! My advice would be to concentrate on trying to save the marriage, because for one thing , it ain't much
fun being middle aged single and skint which is the only certainty!
Wish him the best of luck from me.
Cheers
Jon
"Everyone is entitled to an opinion however stupid!"
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nige
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| posted on 13/4/07 at 08:36 AM |
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divorce
if they can sort it out amicably then do that and just use one solicitor
if you both get solicitor then thats when it all goes pear shaped
i ended up taking out a mortgage extention to pay her off kept the kids and the house .... two years later she,s settled , new feller , new house,
needs money ....... takes me to court and wins kids back then the fun starts . f**kin CSA
come knocking i pay £500 a month and have since 1999, two years to go now
and youngest finishes college
 then maybe we get a life back
he has my simpathy
when you start this journey
you think it will be done in " no " time but then " no " turns into a " bloody " long time
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mackei23b
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| posted on 13/4/07 at 09:41 AM |
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Get him to see the Citizens Advice
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk
They will be able to give free impartial advice. That said I echo the other advice, can it be sorted?
Cheers
Ian
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