JoelP
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| posted on 26/9/03 at 11:28 AM |
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Funny Story
I read this just now in a magazine, it had me laughing quite hard. Apparently true, but who knows? I dont have a scanner so in the interests of a
laugh, i'll type it all in for y'all:
"A true story, as written by way of an explanitory letter to insure's quesitons, by an unfortunate builder.
Dear Sirs,
i am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the
cause of my accident. You asked for fuller explanation and i trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a brick layer by trade. On the day of the accident, i was working alone on the roof of a new 6 storey building. When i completed my work, i found
that i had some bricks left over, which when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand i
decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the 6th floor. Securing the barrel at ground i
went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then i wen tdown and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that i weigh 135lbs. Due to my suprise at being jerked of the ground so suddenly, i lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the end of the rope. Needless to say, i proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the
vicinity of the 3rd floor, i met the barrel, which was travelling down at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor
abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, i continued my ascent, only stopping
when the fingers of my right hand were 2 knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time i had recovered my presence of mind enough to hold
onto the rope, despite beginning to feel pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel fell out. Now devoid of the brick,
the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, i began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In
the vicinity of the 3rd floor, i met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my
lower legs and body. Fortunately this slowed me enough that when i landed on the pile of bricks i only fractured a few vertibrae. I am sorry to
report, however, that as i lay there in pain unable to move, i again lost my presenceof mind and let go of the rope, and watched the barrel fall 6
stories onto me. This explaines the broken legs. I hope this answers your queries and i await settlement of my claim, yours truly
*********"
Surely cant be true but quite funny. Believe me it looses something when you've typed it all up....
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Spyderman
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| posted on 26/9/03 at 11:33 AM |
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That one is very old!
Still funny though! 
Spyderman
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jonti
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| posted on 26/9/03 at 01:01 PM |
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Mmm it is an old but very funny one
There's a song by one of those Irish bands like the Fairies (sorry Furies ) or someone Called 'Murphy and the Bricks' which is the
same thing.And an even older one recorded way back the nineteen thirties by Fred Emney ( an old Music Hall Comedian...shows how old I am !) Still
makes me laff every time though.
See ..the education you get on here beats the OU every time
OFROK
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thekafer
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 12:37 AM |
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Not to subvert the thread,but today I heard on the radio that a cop witnessed some freestyle driving by a pickup.
He flashed the lights,the truck staggers over to the side of the road.
The driver, aware that he is on camera from said cops car,gets out,takes an unopened bottle of 'Jack' and procedes to
drink it.
He gets 1/4 thru the bottle,puts the cap back on and leans against the truck to await the cop.
The cop could'nt cite him for D.W.I.,only public intoxication(a misdemeaner)!Because it could'nt be proved prior to getting out of the
truck,that he was drunk!
It's a scary drunk that cant even drive his car but still has the presence of mind to get away with it
Fletch
[Edited on 27/9/03 by thekafer]
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy...
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Viper
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 09:16 AM |
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The Brick story is actualy a song, i think it was the dubliners that sung it.
[Edited on 27/9/2003 by Viper]
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eddie
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 01:40 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by thekafer
He gets 1/4 thru the bottle,puts the cap back on and leans against the truck to await the cop.
The cop could'nt cite him for D.W.I.,only public intoxication(a misdemeaner)!Because it could'nt be proved prior to getting out of the
truck,that he was drunk!
[Edited on 27/9/03 by thekafer]
I thought in the usa it was illegal to have 'open containers of alcahol' in a car?
Please feel free in advance to: correct, update, ridicule or laugh and point at any comments made by myself in this post....
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thekafer
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 02:07 PM |
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Yes it is,he had been drinking in a bar and the bottle of wiskey was unopen (sealed) until he was out of the truck....
Fletch
[Edited on 27/9/03 by thekafer]
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy...
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Viper
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 02:49 PM |
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reading through the stuff i got with my holiday tickets it says that all alchahol must be carried in the boot???
[Edited on 27/9/2003 by Viper]
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carnut1100
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 04:08 PM |
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That story has been around for years. It was made into a song called "Murphy and the Bricks", as previously pointed out. I can't
remember who sung it though.
That story also has an American version about a farmer and a barrel of horseshoes to be moved fromm the top of a barn.
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 04:26 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by thekafer
Yes it is,he had been drinking in a bar and the bottle of wiskey was unopen until he was out of the truck....
Fletch
In the UK you wouldnt get away with that. Just being drunk in charge of a vehicle carries the same penalty.
If you slept drunk in a car and still had the keys, you are done for drunk in charge. It happened in a car park of a supermarket around here a few
years back.
atb
steve
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thekafer
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 05:33 PM |
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Yes, But the drunk used the camera footage (plublic domain) against the county who could'nt claim a blood/
alcohol level while driving or even in the car.
The only thing that was certain was he had downed a (previously sealed) fith of jack waiting for the cop.
I'm sure they would have been able to get him for reckless driving also..
Fletch
[Edited on 27/9/03 by thekafer]
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy...
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JoelP
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 05:35 PM |
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the variant i heard, was that you should get out, launch the keys into a nearby field and then glug the bottle of vodka. Ud still have to convince the
mag/judge that it was probably you were sober when driving. my book on motoring law said ud have to get expert witnesses to testify.
when i was young, we were all (me and a few pals) pissed in one of their cars, planning quite honestly to walk home later, when cops came and started
moaning about drunk in charge of a vehicle. Fortunately my mate had guessed they would be unhappy and had already given his keys to another lad sat in
the back! so he got away with a chat about delinquent youth.
a year later he was trollied and had bent a wheel off his car, got nicked and LET OFF after they took him home for a bolliking and a chat with the
parents. Never understood how he pulled that one off... they came when he was trying to change the wheel. madness.
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 27/9/03 at 10:16 PM |
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He would still be guity here. Had drunk outside of the car, and had keys with him. In UK law that shows intent to drive and he would have been guilty.
Camera or not.
atb
steve
quote:
Originally posted by thekafer
Yes, But the drunk used the camera footage (plublic domain) against the county who could'nt claim a blood/
alcohol level while driving or even in the car.
The only thing that was certain was he had downed a (previously sealed) fith of jack waiting for the cop.
I'm sure they would have been able to get him for reckless driving also..
Fletch
[Edited on 27/9/03 by thekafer]
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bob
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| posted on 28/9/03 at 08:49 AM |
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Yep thats the song "murphy and the bricks" very funny,can usually be heard on in the early hours of St potato pickers day on radio two.
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