davie h
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 02:14 PM |
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the past year
i dont know about anyone else but im looking forward to next year and a bit of a new start. i have had a few good things happen this year like on the
28th April i went out and bought myself a mig some steel and a bit of board to get my build started. whilst i was out in the garage playing with my
new toys(same day) my wife came out and i knew from the look on her face that she was pregnant (we were trying). i was over the moon and looking
forward to completing my family.
then some bad the pregnancy had gone well until 3 months ago when the midwife told us she thought that the baby wasnt growing well and sent us for
scans and she was right the wee one was very small for the stage of pregnacy. we were told just to carry on and to go for scans every week or so and
they would check the growth for any dips or for any growth.
at the begining of October my dad was taken into hospital because he was losing weight test after test the docs couldnt see what was wrong till 3
weeks later he admitted he had an ulcer on his tounge that had been there for two years. he had cancer of the tounge so the fight began. on sunday
11th November he was taken in to hospital to have part of his tounge removed and glands in his neck removed. the day of the op i went to see him and
could that the realisation of the situation had hit him but he was fine and was even talking slurred but talking 5 hours after the op.
on sunday 18th November i was just going to sit down to dinner when the house phone rang and it was an nurse from the hospital telling me that my dad
had took a turn for the worse and i should get up there right away. on arrival i was told that a blood vessel/vien in his neck had burst and he had a
heart attack and stopped breathing due to this. the medical staff got his heart going but couldnt get a tube in for his breathing for about 10mins. he
was then rushed to theatre for emergency sutgery to stop the breathing which worked we got to see him in the recovery room and it broke my heart he
was a mess all swolen my brother coldnt handle it and just left i dont blame him i wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend this wasnt
happening.
my dad was then tranferred to the intensive care unit and we had to wait till they had hin settled in before we could see him after an hour a nurse
came in a told my mum and me that my dad had got worse and two minutes later a doctor came in and told us that his conditon was grave and that the
medical team had agreed a limit of medcation and that they had reached that limit an hour and a half ago and that the only thing left to do was stop
the medication and let him go. 10minutes later i stood holding my mum as my dad passed away. he didnt get a chance to fight the big C.
thing are slowly getting back to normal (if they ever will). my wife had a scan on the 20th December and the baby has put a lot of weight on and the
docs arent worried anymore.
ps sorry for the nature of this post at this time of year its helped me putting some of this down (a few tears were shed) as im now at the angry stage
and need to out of it before i start hurting people.
oh and merry christmas and a happy new year from me and the family
all the best
Davie
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John Bonnett
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 02:28 PM |
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A merry Christmas to you Davie. You have had a rough year so let's hope 2008 brings a new baby, a new car and new happiness.
Best wishes
John
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bonzoronnie
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 02:31 PM |
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Bad year
Lets hope the new year is a happier one for you.
I lost my own father las year.
I know he would have loved helping on the Roadster project.
Remember Time heals. A very corny saying but with the pasage of time its true.
Chin up & try and make the best of things.
Ronnie
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 02:58 PM |
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Sometimes life is awful - my father was diagnosed with parkinson's disease last year - but how you deal with such tragedy makes all the
difference. You will be all the stronger if you can cope with it and rise above it.
Best wishes for the coming year, whatever it may bring. Hopefully a new and healthy baby will be a ray of sunshine for you both.
David
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Richard Quinn
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 04:09 PM |
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Life can be sh*t at times. Just take the time take stock of what you DO have and don't shut anyone out. I hope that 2008 is much, much better
for you.
Best wishes to you all for 2008.
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mistergrumpy
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 05:08 PM |
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There's nothing anyone can say to make things easier mate but time does make things easier. It sounds like things are going to be helped along a
lot with the little one on the way and I bet you that something, as little as it may be, that the wee one does will remind you of your dad, something
that they inherit, so he's not all that gone  Chin up mate, all the best 
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Paradoxia0
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 05:59 PM |
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It's posts like that that make you (we'll, it made me) realise that all my bitching and complaining about my life is trivial... Put things
into perspective.
I really hope you have a better year next year and that your new baby and car will make it a great one
Mark
There is no replacement for displacement...
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BenB
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 06:02 PM |
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It's good to talk! I hope 2008 goes better for you than 2007!
It's when stuff like this happens that people turn to religeon to try and makes sense of things, to try and work out why things happened the way
they do. I personally think that's missing the point- like telling kids about the tooth fairy to turn teeth coming out into an acceptable part
of life.
Personally I like to think about it in a slightly existentialist way- (but this is just me) that in reality, we shouldn't expect anything. The
planet existed before humans arrived and will probably be around long after humans are exstinct. Human life is an irrelevance to an extent- at least a
neutral experience: for every positive thing that happens, a negative thing will happen. Yet we all expect a positive experience which clearly cannot
happen. I know nothing of my family to come (obviously) and little of my family in the past beyond about 4 generations. Clearly they were important
in as far as they passed on the genes required for me to be alive but their individual contributions are almost irrelevant. We are all just passing
organisms of a bigger picture. We cannot passively wait and expect good things to happen to us because life is at best neutral. We have to create
things to enhance our lifes (babies and cars being my preferred choices!!) or find beauty in the simple things (a smile, a sunset, the slightly acrid
smell of burning rubber and RON70 coming out of the back of a Lotus-7-derived kit car)..... Sadness and loss are all inevitable parts of life but the
only way to survive is to prevent them from destroying any happiness from life- by remembering the good times and find positivity there.
The only good thing that can come from sadness and pain is the desire to find happiness and fulfillment whereever possible.
However you learn to live beyond loss, here's to 2008!!!
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BenB
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 06:03 PM |
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ps Hope that didn't sound patronising. I'm not suggesting I have all the answers and I'd probably be a drooling wreck and a
signed-up member of Scientology if I had the year you had 
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davie h
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 06:24 PM |
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thanks for the messages of support
lifes goes on it has to or what would you do. sit about teary eyed all the time i wouldnt want my family doing this over me and i dont think anyone
would. the last time i spoke to my dad i told him he was looking good. he replied "dont f***in say that" his way of saying dont chance
fate. i can see him now saying "see i fu**in told you" and have a good laugh as that was him and his manner (swore a lot especially
towards the telly).
Davie
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liam.mccaffrey
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 06:24 PM |
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i lost my grandfather last year in related circumstances. he and i were very close also he was very excited about my car build, he made me promise to
finish it so he could have a ride in it. Little did he know he only had a month to live.
Keep strong and keep moving forward, all the best!
My grandfather swore a bit too, he had some fantastic saying
"You're lower than a snakes belly"
"Never shoot S*#t with a rubber gun" ive still not worked out what this one means, judging from the context he used it in im not sure he
knew either.
"The golden eagle S*#ts again" if he ever gave us money when we were kids
"Dick Turpin wore a mask" whether he was buying building materials and car or a tea cake.
[Edited on 23/12/07 by liam.mccaffrey]
Build Blog
Build Photo Album
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Confused but excited.
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| posted on 23/12/07 at 09:15 PM |
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Bad year mate, my heart goes out to you.
Remember, it may sound trite, but it's the crap times, that make us realise, just how good the good times are.
I hope all goes well from now on with the little one, because in the end, they make up for all they crap in your life and then some.
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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keithice
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| posted on 24/12/07 at 07:50 AM |
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Lost the wife four years ago.(she was only 48 [I was 39 with a 10 year old son+19 and 27 year old stepsons.]) understand a little of what your coping
with... It does get better but grab the moments as they go by.. take that holiday you keep putting off.. build the car you always wanted.. once
you've had an experience it's always with you....
Smile and wave boys.... Smile and wave....
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