DarrenW
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 08:57 PM |
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Any Child maintenance experts??
Im looking for some accurate info please. Lets assume CSA has never been involved in a child maintenance case. Private arrangement has always been
agreed and never faultered on since child was 3 yrs old. At what age would it be reasonable to stop payments without the mother being able to take the
situation to an official body (and get involved in back payments etc messy etc etc)??
Reason i ask is my daughter turned 16 in May this year. Stopped on at school. I was under the impression i may get away only paying whilst she is 16
(ie up until 17th birthday) but there may be a 'whilst in full time education' rule. Anyone know the ins and outs?
If i say gave the mother 6 months notice then stopped on 17th birthday, could she get loads of back pay and drop me in the clarts? Ive never seen my
daughter since she was 3 (but do texts and send prezzies) so kind of thought about saying im stopping he money but prepared to treat her if she starts
to come round etc.
Its a funny old world int' it??
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Jon Ison
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:02 PM |
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You have incoming.
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DarrenW
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:11 PM |
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Thanks Jon, replied.
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Avoneer
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:21 PM |
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Speak to a local sol - you'll get at least 30 minutes for free.
Don't get me started on the CSA either.
Pat...
No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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DarrenW
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:31 PM |
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Yeah, sounds like a legal advice matter.
I have no issue paying my way - just dont want to go beyond what i have to from a legal point of view (ie want to stop once i now the CSA have no
further interest).
Ive been really fortunate that CSA has never been involved and therefore probs get off lightly. No desire to rock the boat but need to know at what
point its safe to stop. Being young when we made the agreement we overlooked that slight matter of the exit strategy!!
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worX
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:40 PM |
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I have no answers for you in this case Darren, but I know what you're going through so I hope it sorts itself out without too much pain...
Steve
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mookaloid
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:48 PM |
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I understand that you pay until they are 18 or until they finish full time education 
Cheers
Mark
"That thing you're thinking - it wont be that."
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higgsti
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:52 PM |
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i also thought you paid while in full time education.i think the csa has a website were you can find out how much you should be paying it might also
tell you how long
http://csa.gov.uk/
[Edited on 12/10/07 by higgsti]
[Edited on 12/10/07 by higgsti]
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donut
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:53 PM |
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I think it's full time education aswell.
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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DarrenW
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 09:57 PM |
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I cant find out how long you have to pay on the CSA site. Maybe not looking hard enough.
As before, im not paying cSA as such, just dont want to stop private payments until i know im safe. Looks like there is some way to go yet....... will
it ever end?
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higgsti
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 10:03 PM |
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http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060824140858AAK91OD
[Edited on 12/10/07 by higgsti]
http://www.sfla.co.uk/endmaintenance.htm
[Edited on 12/10/07 by higgsti]
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Agriv8
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 11:05 PM |
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dont know the inns and outs but a freind of mine had dealing with the CSA lets just say they put a sain man within inches of taking his own life.
But anyway just a note to say that my freind stopped his assocation with the CSA when his ex wife got re-maried and they adopted his daughter may or
may not have some bearing.
I would be supprised if they could go back further that 5 years. But look at the other side this is an organistion that costs 75p for every 100p they
collect and they stuggle to get that right.
HTH
Agriv8
Taller than your average Guy !
Management is like a tree of monkeys. - Those at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. BUT Those at the bottom look up and see a
tree full of a*seholes .............
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D Beddows
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 11:28 PM |
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Yeah, but from the other side my step kids (who I love dearly) Dad is a 'professional' disabled person - ie when it suits him - and
I've never seen a penny from him towards their upkeep. CSA can't touch him because he's 'disabled' yet he can afford to
go on holiday for 3 weeks in the school holidays........(people with kids will understand that one)
As I said I love them so I realy don't mind spending the money on the things that give them a good childhood - their dad calling me a tosser for
doing it in front of them you have to wonder about especially when he has money - but he just wont spend it on them........
[Edited on 12/10/07 by D Beddows]
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Andybarbet
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| posted on 12/10/07 at 11:59 PM |
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The csa can only take money off of you from the day the mother calls them to make a claim, they dont do backdated payments.
If the claim has been logged with the csa and it has taken two years to track down the father, you would be taken for two years worth.
I reckon your best bet would be to go on the csa website, put your wage details in the calculator jobbie and it will tell you what you have to pay. If
i were you, i would stash the amount it gives you in a seperate account and stop paying the mother, if she comes at you with a claim, the moneys there
waiting.
I have my son more than his mother does and she took me to the csa and won, apparently, because she gets the child benefit for him, i automatically
lose ! hows that fair ?? I tried to dispute it but they just take it out of my pay so theres nothing i can do. I would gladly pay for his upkeep if i
was a weekend only dad but im one of the lucky few who see's him loads so i just stomach the money bit......
Good luck 
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keithice
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 05:13 AM |
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Higgsti has it right, darren, if you look on the csa website in the glossary... under c for child it says..."child... under sixteen or under 19
if in full time, non advanced education. (no higher than A level)." Off their own website, they couldn't argue..keith
Smile and wave boys.... Smile and wave....
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Avoneer
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 07:03 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Andybarbet
The csa can only take money off of you from the day the mother calls them to make a claim, they dont do backdated payments.
If the claim has been logged with the csa and it has taken two years to track down the father, you would be taken for two years worth.
I reckon your best bet would be to go on the csa website, put your wage details in the calculator jobbie and it will tell you what you have to pay. If
i were you, i would stash the amount it gives you in a seperate account and stop paying the mother, if she comes at you with a claim, the moneys there
waiting.
I have my son more than his mother does and she took me to the csa and won, apparently, because she gets the child benefit for him, i automatically
lose ! hows that fair ?? I tried to dispute it but they just take it out of my pay so theres nothing i can do. I would gladly pay for his upkeep if i
was a weekend only dad but im one of the lucky few who see's him loads so i just stomach the money bit......
Good luck
Know how you feel.
I used to have my daughter more than mother, but copped for it.
I now go all the way to Manchester every Friday night to pick her up and take her home every Sunday (80 mile round trip) and the CSA wouldn't
take that into consideration. It would be cheaper for just not to see her!
I've done it almost every weekend for the last 9 years now.
Pat...
No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
However a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
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snapper
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 07:37 AM |
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quote:
I understand that you pay until they are 18 or until they finish full time education
True
quote:
I used to have my daughter more than mother, but copped for it. I now go all the way to Manchester every Friday night to pick her up and take her home
every Sunday (80 mile round trip) and the CSA wouldn't take that into consideration. It would be cheaper for just not to see her!
I've done it almost every weekend for the last 9 years now.
You pay until she leaves education and as the CSA is the only Law standing you must judge your actions in light of thid, 15% of net less rent
mortgage.
Similar journeys for me from kids age 3 till 16 last year when i finaly got my girl back. 3 hour round trip 300 miles evry other Friday with return on
the monday.
Got done by the CSA 4 years sfter agreeing a one off settlement of all the equity and spare cash, im not bitter, not much.
Thats why i am building now and not ten years ago
[Edited on 13/10/07 by snapper]
[Edited on 13/10/07 by snapper]
[Edited on 13/10/07 by snapper]
I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to pi55 my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)
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pajsh
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 07:44 AM |
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At the risk of being flamed and banned I think you should look at things from a different perspective considering your moral rather than legal
responsibility.
When they become 16 or 18 or 21 they don't suddenly become free to keep.
My 2nd lad is 18 and costing me £200 a month at uni and will proably cost me that and more for the next 5 years until he qualifies.
I think you should pay as much and for as long as you believe she is still your responsibility.
Sorry and maybe it's niaive and idealistic but I think our society is all about what we can get away with these days rather than what is morally
right.
I'll get my coat.
I used to be apathetic but now I just don't care.
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nick205
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 08:18 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by pajsh
At the risk of being flamed and banned I think you should look at things from a different perspective considering your moral rather than legal
responsibility.
When they become 16 or 18 or 21 they don't suddenly become free to keep.
My 2nd lad is 18 and costing me £200 a month at uni and will proably cost me that and more for the next 5 years until he qualifies.
I think you should pay as much and for as long as you believe she is still your responsibility.
Sorry and maybe it's niaive and idealistic but I think our society is all about what we can get away with these days rather than what is morally
right.
I'll get my coat.
A balance to the debate is always good pajash.
[Edited on 13/10/07 by nick205]
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stevebubs
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 08:32 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by pajsh
At the risk of being flamed and banned I think you should look at things from a different perspective considering your moral rather than legal
responsibility.
When they become 16 or 18 or 21 they don't suddenly become free to keep.
My 2nd lad is 18 and costing me £200 a month at uni and will proably cost me that and more for the next 5 years until he qualifies.
I think you should pay as much and for as long as you believe she is still your responsibility.
Sorry and maybe it's niaive and idealistic but I think our society is all about what we can get away with these days rather than what is morally
right.
I'll get my coat.
Agreed, but only if the money sent is being used to support the child. If not, then I would start making the payments directly to the child.
After all, it's the child that
a) you have the moral obligation to
b) has the legal claim against you - not the mother.
Just my 2p...and from what I've heard, avoid the CSA like the plague
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thunderace
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 09:35 AM |
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SHOCK
""Ive never seen my daughter since she was 3 ""
thats so sad,
I KNOW A GUY WHO HAS WENT TO HIS X PARTNERS DOOR EVRY SATERDAY FOR NEARLY A YEAR NOW AND ASKED TO SEE HIS SON WHEN SHE SAYS NO HE HAS HIS MATE TAKE A
PHOTO OF HIM HOLDIND THAT SAT PAPER AT HER DOOR AS PROOF HES TRED TO SEE HIS 2 YEAR OLD SON.
i know that you pay untill the finish there full time education my mates son is going to be a doctor hes now 20 ans has 3 years left at uni and the
csa makes him pay
here is the thing i bet the csa will charge a lot more than your x partner so just pay it as the csa will rape you.
and it will make your kid turn more against you.
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Aboardman
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 10:58 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by mookaloid
I understand that you pay until they are 18 or until they finish full time education
Cheers
Mark
my mates ex wife will love that , she is the one paying the maintenace and eldest son has just gone to leeds uni.
In fact she is looking after her youngest son next week whilst my mates goes on holiday and she has asked my mate for £50 + the child benifit to cover
her costs.
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mr henderson
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| posted on 13/10/07 at 04:58 PM |
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I think everybody who is-
getting married
or
starting a relationship
or
doing ANYTHING that might result in a pregnancy
should be made to read this thread
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DarrenW
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| posted on 15/10/07 at 09:12 AM |
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Thanks all. Some interesting views. It is a highly emotive subject and everyone is different. I do feel very lucky that the CSA has never been
involved.
For me the morality of seeing my daughter isnt in question really. To be honest paying the maintenance isnt an issue either. Im just curious from a
legal point of view how long i have to pay etc. I fully expect that when she is ready she will come and see me. Whilst i dont see her we do text (and
her mother fully knows about this), and the texts are rather nice. When i stop the maintenance i will be overjoyed to be able to assist her in other
ways when the opportunity comes up. All of my payments are to my daughter directly into her bank account.
It was just the legal side of things i was curious about. As she is quite clever and already started A levels i guess worst case legally is until she
turns 19. She will actually just turn 18 when she does her exams so if the legal standing is until she finishes these then it seems to be until that
September (ie when the next term starts).
University is indeed an expensive time also so im kind of thinking if i still dont see her at that point then maybe i could pay for all her books or
some other kind of good will gesture.
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vindicator
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| posted on 15/10/07 at 03:04 PM |
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Just been reading up on the responses to this.... I am lucky to say that I found and married my best friend and we have two grown up kids (hence the
spare money to build the car)..
She also works for the CSA.....and has been doing so from the outset.
Yes, I have heard the good news and the bad news, some cases that she can't discuss and those items you read in the news (one version) and what
actually has happened.
She has worked with both sides, helping the mother after the father has run away and refuses to pay for looking after his kids and the distraught
father finding his wife flying off to some other country and completely abandons the kids.
She reads in some cases what has caused the break up and sometimes it is very nasty......she has also been on the phone lines and took all the abuse
or rants and has taught me some new words which I did not know. It has affected me as well knowing what she has to look foward to, I don't know
how she has puts up with it day in, day out.
She says that the child or children come first....and thru the formula (which has changed a number of times over the years) makes sure things are fair
and explained to both sides.
She can't discuss any case or make enquires into a case that she is not working on, but can give general guidance if asked to do so.
I'll let her read the emails and we will see if she wants to respond.....
regards
TimR
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