Jon Ison
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 03:20 PM |
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Your computer is infected ?
Just had one on phone for over 10 minutes before he hung up, took me his 1st sentence to suss him, took him 10 minutes to suss I had him Sussed.
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HowardB
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 03:32 PM |
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brilliant!
Howard
Fisher Fury was 2000 Zetec - now a 1600 (it Lives again  and goes zoom)
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mookaloid
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 04:00 PM |
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He he - I've never had the opportunity and I would really enjoy it it if I had the time 
"That thing you're thinking - it wont be that."
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sprouts-car
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 04:07 PM |
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I had one of those.
I told them I didn't have a computer at my current address.
They didnt know what to do then.
Build blog
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Ivan
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 04:13 PM |
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Yea well done - I was waiting for them to phone me and when they did I was just on my way out so couldn't string them along, when I said my
computer was on Linux they hung up immediately - didn't even take the time to say goodbye  Strangely enough my caller had an Irish accent.
I am sure I could make them hang on for an hour or more - to start with I could make booting up take ten minutes then have it loose power and have to
reboot for another 10 minutes. And of course I am very hard of hearing so they will have to shout at me and I can shout back at them and
misunderstand them, and if necessary i could swear like a trooper so could add that to the mix and of course when their instructions don't work
and give a blue screen I could always re-boot for another 10 minutes.
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Macbeast
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 04:20 PM |
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I'm going to make up an effects tape a la Goons, so it will go like this -
Him : could you switch on your computer
Me: OK
Tape: sound of footsteps on wooden floor receding into the distance
sound of creaky door
more footsteps disappearing further into the distance
sound of key in door
creaky door
long pause
creaky door
sound of key in door
sound of distant footsteps approaching
creaky door
sound of footsteps approaching and stop
Me: OK it's switched on. What now ?
Him: Please log on to www.xxx........
Tape: as before:
Repeat until game palls
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime.
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cerbera
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 05:46 PM |
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I can better that. 52 minutes and he got very angry with me and hung up! How rude
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Peteff
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 05:46 PM |
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I did similar with one telling him that we had a bad line and making stupid static noises down the phone then saying that the computer is upstairs and
I'll go and switch it on. I put the phone down and left it a bit then picked it up again and told him I'd switched it on what next. Open
control panel, right I'll go and do that be back in a bit. I think he called me something rude in Urdu and hung up then.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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jollygreengiant
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 06:48 PM |
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I like the cold calls to sell you a kitchen at a discount price 'cos you'll feature in a magazine.
The premise is that they don't actually know who you are and that you are ALSO recording the call and all you need to from the is an ageement
from them that they will actually pay your charges for the use of your name and photos of your house.
I had one on the go for about 30 mins squirming trying not to actually say yes, another one I'm sure I reduced to tears before the hung up. They
REALLY don't like it if you immediately turn the tables on them.
Funny thing is I don't get many of them at all these days, must be at least a year since ......
Beware of the Goldfish in the tulip mines. The ONLY defence against them is smoking peanut butter sandwiches.
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T66
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 07:41 PM |
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I sussed this several years ago, and started unplugging the phone when I worked nights, or was in on my own.
Wife has given up with the landline too, took her longer than me, but the daily bullshat isnt worth it.
We now dont own a home telephone.
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 08:14 PM |
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We kept getting those "virus" calls - first, we said that we didn't have a computer, which kept them quiet for a while. Then they
kept ringing... so we let them go to the answer-phone. They kept ringing... we now have a call-blocking device fitted - anything that comes in as
"number unavailable" gets cut off before it even rings.
The gadget also has the feature that when a cold-caller rings with a real number showing, we can press a button and that number will be blocked from
that point on.
Call blocker
I don't like spending that sort of money to block unwanted calls - but BT and Plusnet weren't interested in solving the problem.
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Stott
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 08:15 PM |
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I had one going for ages telling him "computer says no"
He didn't get it what with being from azerbybeckistan, so I told him a message has just popped up that says your a liar.
He then hung up
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austin man
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| posted on 29/3/12 at 08:23 PM |
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kept one on for nearly an hour passed him round the household asked if he was on facebook what the person sitting next to him was called he was called
Simon and he was from Delhi. The day before I had another call I straight away said I know its a scam mate her retorted with a bloody big one give me
the number on your credit card and the 3 numbers on the back I mentioned he should go away in jerky movements then hung up.
Life is like a bowl of fruit, funny how all the weird looking ones are left alone
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morcus
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| posted on 30/3/12 at 01:42 AM |
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My brothers mate has had some good ones, He just answers the phone and pretty much says nothing. He had one where they phone you up and ask you to
press a number on the key pad (Which autherises them to take money from you which is charged to you phone bill) and he kept them on the line for over
an hour doing nothing.
My nan gets those stupid computor ones but she doesn't have a computor. She told them they could come round and fix it if they could find it.
In a White Room, With Black Curtains, By the Station.
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