paulbeyer
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 posted on 10/4/02 at 07:50 PM |
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Anyone for a Jet Powered Locost?
Who's gonna be first to try this one then??? 
It's that time again. You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual
honour given to persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by
killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's
winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over
on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it. He was
drunk at the time. His mother is now suing the Coke company for millions.
And now this years winner...
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded
into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The
wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The
type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out
what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow gotten
hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off--actually a solid fuel rocket)
that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for
taking off from short airfields He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the
desert and found a long and straight stretch of road. Then he attached the
JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!
The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967
Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from
the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted
asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have
reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds
well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional
20-25 seconds. The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have
experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under
full afterburners, causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of
the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for
about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely
melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the
road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and
impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater
3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable;
however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the
crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris
believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Epilogue: It has been
speculated that this moron nearly reached Mach I, attaining a ground speed
of approximately 420 mph.
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chrisg
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| posted on 10/4/02 at 10:20 PM |
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Hi Paul,
You've fallen for the biggest urban myth there is!!
It's not true unfortunately.
Click http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html
Cheers
Chris
Note to all: I really don't know when to leave well alone. I tried to get clever with the mods, then when they gave me a lifeline to see the
error of my ways, I tried to incite more trouble via u2u. So now I'm banned, never to return again. They should have done it years ago!
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paulbeyer
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| posted on 11/4/02 at 11:58 AM |
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Hi Chris
I wasn't trying to pass it off as a true story, just trying to share a funny with a few lads.
I know a joke that involves a castaway, a desert island and Kylie Minogue that's funny but wouldn't expect you to think it was true.
Next you'll be trying to convince me that man actually landed on the moon in 69 and the lunar buggy was the worlds first Locost.
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James
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| posted on 12/4/02 at 08:00 PM |
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Ah, well if it's not true that means the idea might actually work!
And there I was worrying about beating people off the lights! I'll just strap a couple of these to the side of the car, they'll beat nitro any
day....
James
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paulbeyer
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 posted on 12/4/02 at 08:39 PM |
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Go for it James.
I was going to say, "and let me know how you get on". But shortly after reaching the first bend I don't think you'd be in any fit state to speak.
(I did the site survey ivestigation of the Chinook crash up at the Mull of Kintyre in June 94, so I know what I'm talking about). 
As an aside, does anyone know, What happens to your lap when you stand up? just a thought
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chrisg
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| posted on 12/4/02 at 10:12 PM |
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Re your aside Paul, what are occasional tables the rest of the time?
Cheers
Chris
Note to all: I really don't know when to leave well alone. I tried to get clever with the mods, then when they gave me a lifeline to see the
error of my ways, I tried to incite more trouble via u2u. So now I'm banned, never to return again. They should have done it years ago!
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paulbeyer
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| posted on 13/4/02 at 12:17 PM |
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Chris
If a Seven Eleven store is open 24 hrs a day 7 days a week why does the front door have a lock on it?
And here's a worrying conundrum... Why do drive through ATM machines in the States have instructions in English, Spanish and BRAILLE????????? I'm
serious, they do.
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