graememk
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 11:46 AM |
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just been told i have to say grace
just because i went to a catholic school its my job ?
anyway heres what i have so far from joining up silly emails and silly jollies i've had other the past year or so
Honured Guests friends and faimily,
Can we please have some silence for grace.
Lord our farther, Please grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
the courage to change the things we cannot accept
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I killed today.
Lord Help us to be carefull of the toes we step on today.
They maybe connected to the feet we have to kiss tomorrow.
Please help us to give 100% at work, (pause) 12% on Mondays, 23% on Tuesdays, 40% on Wednesdays,
20% on Thusdays,5% on Fridays.
and remind us, when we are having a bad day.
it takes 42 muscles to frown,28 to smile
and only 4 to extend your arm and smack someone in the mouth.
We thank you for this wonderfull food your hands have provided for us, (pause)
please wait no longer lets eat and get drunk together.
Amen
[Edited on 30/6/07 by graememk]
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joneh
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 12:42 PM |
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If they're serious enough to say grace, will they appreciate you taking the piss?
Can you record it for us so we can see the reaction? 
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Macbeast
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 01:16 PM |
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Keep it short -
"Good Lord! Who provided this food?"
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 01:19 PM |
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Good food
Good Meat
Good God
Lets eat.
Keep it short or the grub gets cold
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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graememk
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 02:21 PM |
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if they asked me to say it i very much doubt they wanted a Senssible one
so is someone going to "funny" it up for me a bit more then ?
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speedyxjs
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 02:51 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by omega 24 v6
Good food
Good Meat
Good God
Lets eat.
How long can i resist the temptation to drop a V8 in?
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fesycresy
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 04:14 PM |
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I jokingly told my 10 year old daughter to tell her RE teacher that:
'God is an imaginary friend for adults when they are in deep deep trouble'
She did 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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russbost
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 04:50 PM |
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What!!!!!!! You mean he's not real - that's him & Santa in the same week - next you'll be telling me Tony B liar isn't
Prime Minister
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caber
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 07:33 PM |
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Some hae meat as cannae eat
Some can eat who waant it
We hae meat and we can eat
For that the Lord be thankit
Robert Burns, "The Selkirk Grace"
That is a good grace and perfectly respectable
Caber
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graememk
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| posted on 30/6/07 at 08:22 PM |
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the r burns one has been work out in my family as 50% are scots anyway, and i cant do the acsent
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