Ricks-9r
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 posted on 21/11/07 at 06:27 PM |
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alternative nursery rhymes
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh ****, it's Global Warming.
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her a$$
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy
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Guinness
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 10:16 AM |
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Peteff
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 10:34 AM |
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Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair,
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Let me taste your wares",
Said the pieman unto Simon "Show me first your penny",
Said Simle Simon to the pieman "Indeed I have not any",
Said the pieman unto Simon "You're not that f**king simple are you"
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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Castrol Dave
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 11:55 AM |
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Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a bit of fun
silly Jill forgot her pill
and now thay got a son.
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
silly Jill forgot her pill
and now they got a daughter.
Happiness is a state of mind...
If your not happy...change your mind.
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02GF74
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 12:27 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Ricks-9r
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
That just wouldn't happen would it.
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Peteff
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 01:39 PM |
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Mary had a little pig
She couldn't stop it gruntin'
She took it down the garden
and kicked it's little head in.
I can't think of a rhyme for the last bit.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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TGR-ECOSSE
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| posted on 22/11/07 at 11:20 PM |
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Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the sky so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle twinkle little star
Now I found out what you are
A lump of rusting rocket case
A rubbish tip in outer space
- Spike Milligan
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