donut
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 posted on 15/12/06 at 01:53 PM |
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Hangover Ratings
Hangover Ratings
1 star hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.
You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka and Red Bulls.
However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.
Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.
2 star hangover
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.
The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.
Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light
filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 star hangover
Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.
Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after
the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.
Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a kebab and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 6 chicken nuggets and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.
4 star hangover
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.
Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial
spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.
Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade
class circa 1976.
You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a cheeseburger and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and
NOT have gone out the night before.
You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.
5 star hangover
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.
Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.
You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.
Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so
pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe ..... very gently.
6 star hangover
You arrive home and climb into bed.
Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.
You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.
You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.
No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.
You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.
After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.
If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus
mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus
noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.
Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark.
With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent.
You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last
occasion.
It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get
into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair.
You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital.
Work is simply not an option.
The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving.
You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.
OK, now hands up all those who have never had a six star hangover!!
Thought so!
Merry Christmas!
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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benji106
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| posted on 15/12/06 at 02:20 PM |
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those six star bad boys certainly are b*stards.
-Everything in excess-
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graememk
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| posted on 15/12/06 at 04:47 PM |
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wow i remember being a student
6* every student night in the pub lol
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snapper
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| posted on 15/12/06 at 06:29 PM |
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You get to my age and the B*st*rds stay around for a couple of days and the kids feel confident enought to laugh openly at your misfortune
The only benifit of the tablets for my arthritis is that i feel very little head pain, does'nt help the guts though.
I eat to survive
I drink to forget
I breath to pi55 my ex wife off (and now my ex partner)
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rusty nuts
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| posted on 15/12/06 at 08:32 PM |
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had a ten star hangover once, didn't touch a drop for 9 months.! never again
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Confused but excited.
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| posted on 15/12/06 at 09:32 PM |
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Jesus Rusty, now that's a hangover!
My worst was after drinking a dozen large pop bottles ( the Maxi pops ones) of homebrew, a bottle of elderberry wine and half a bottle of dark rum.
Spewed for 24 hrs. I couldn't even keep warm milk down. To top it all, I couldn't even walk past an open pub door without heaving for
three months.
Why do we never learn from our mistakes?
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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MikeRJ
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| posted on 16/12/06 at 12:04 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by rusty nuts
had a ten star hangover once, didn't touch a drop for 9 months.! never again
At a New Years Eve party many years ago we ran out of beer so raided the drinks cupboard to find...a bottle of ginger liquer which we polished off, on
top of a stupid number of pints, shots and god knows what else.
Never in my life have I felt as ill as I did in the following 48 hours, which consisted of the tattered remains of my stomach muscles still trying to
turn me inside out, cold sweats, bouts of shivering, double vision, diarrhoea etc..etc. Didn't touch a drop for a good year after that, and
even now I rarely have more than a few pints. The smell of ginger based drinks makes me gag to this day. Not big and certainly not clever.
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steve m
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| posted on 16/12/06 at 04:14 PM |
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My worst ever has to be "Twice" !! in Japan, I didnt learn the first time,and managed it a second time a year later
as the Japz store all of there alcohol outside and it contains antifreeze to avoid freezing in the winter (no never !) and an additive to stop it
going off, in the summer
on one of my visits, on getting up from my hotel bed to talk to the big white telephone in the bathroom, i managed to sweep the TV off the sideboard
and into the waste bin, at a jaunty angle. and there it remained at nearly 90% for two whole days, as i was in no fit shape to move, let alone do
repair work, also I managed to consume a couple of cans of fizzy a packet of crisps, a mars bar type of thing, all form my hotel room fridge
£60 later !!! for 2 tins and 2 snacks
earlier this year, i was supposed to go back to Japan, and thankfully, it was cancelled, and I ended up in Lagos,
and thats another story
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iank
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| posted on 16/12/06 at 10:21 PM |
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If you want a proper hangover go to Korea and get smashed on Soju.
It's a bit like cheap Sake, but has something in it that really really doesn't do your head any good next morning.
Edit: Just read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soju
Quote: "Soju is clear in color and typically varies in alcohol content from about 20% to about 45% alcohol by volume (ABV), with 20% ABV being
most common. Contrary to some beliefs, it doesn't contain embalming fluid"
[Edited on 16/12/06 by iank]
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bob
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| posted on 16/12/06 at 11:56 PM |
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steve m
There must have been anti freeze in the ale at donington a few years back as you was shall we say a little ill on sunday morning
After spending friday 11.30am till 22.15pm in covent garden and leicester square in and out of bars i was dreading this morning, a good fry up and i
was sorted
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steve m
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| posted on 17/12/06 at 03:14 PM |
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Bob
"the green tent episode"
haha ha ha ha
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bob
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| posted on 17/12/06 at 04:05 PM |
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very very green..... inside and out
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DIY Si
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| posted on 17/12/06 at 08:21 PM |
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I once had a roughly 10* hangover, but then had to get in a coach and travel for 24 hours back from Spain. I was only 15 at the time too! Got home
and passed out for another 12 hours! God, but I hate alcohol poisoning. I can't even remember balcony jumping or offering random people sex
either, but apparently I did.
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My new blog: http://spritecave.blogspot.co.uk/
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Catpuss
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| posted on 13/1/07 at 10:40 AM |
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Did a sixer a couple of times as a student on a placement year. Had the doctor called out to me on one occasion.
My 4/5 was the worst. I had to do a presentation on a network I had set up for presenting rolling Harvard Graphics (yes it was that long ago)
presentations in a large corporate's reception.
The worst bit about the latter one was that we were late to lunch. The problem was that all that was left was quiche and cold baked beans.
I had a glass of water.
Even the time I had memory loss in Germany was better than that.
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