I’ve just got to put this down here to get it off my chest before I blow my top…

A close relative has tragically died of cancer and you’d think that would be the worst of it now over but in fact it’s turning out to be just the beginning. It also goes to show how important it is not to bury your head in the sand is, pretend the inevitable is never going to happen & to sort out the important stuff it when you can.

So, while we’re suppose to be dealing with the funeral this week, all smeggin hell is rearing its head as we’re now finding out what a total pair of pillocks our relatives have been!

Here’s the revelation over the last few days & both were married for over 20 years!

Partner 1 (deceased Labourer, had been given 1 year to live) –

• He didn’t do a will.
• He didn’t set up life insurance.
• He was left in the morgue cos nothing had been organised by anyone!
• He had heaps of loans, most not known by his wife.
• He has racked up 37k of dept which he kept hidden from his wife.

Partner 2 (A helper in a university, surviving with two kids, 15 & 18 years) –

• She also had leaps of loans, none of these was known by her husband. FFS!
• She has racked up over 40k in dept on credit cards!
• She now owns a large house with huge negative equity in a crap location right next to a busy railway line.
• She has inherited and is now half owner of the mother in laws house, who’s now terrified she’s about to lose her house as part of the dept collection!

This is now what we are dealing with, my wife has not slept a wink this week from worry about her mum and I’m very pi$$ed off… if it wasn't for the mother in-laws house disaster, I'd say we should never speak to these relatives ever again!

Blimey. specialist insolvency advice needed? citizens advice ?

bankruptcy looks only way from what you've said.

must be incredibly stressful for all concerned.

[Edited on 23/1/23 by swanny]

Sounds a proper PITA for those having to deal with it.

Amazing the mess some folks get themselves into. Few years back a friend admitted £25k of credit card debt to his wife. Staggering how it happens and the long term effects.

friend of mine is about to embark on a similar situation and i feel your pain.
first thing i would do is see profesional help, yes they charge but could save you or them a whole load of cash and hassle.

Wow that is a multi layered mess.
What I would do if I was in a similar situation then I would make sure to take care of your mother in law and make sure she knows whatever happens she will have roof over her head. Reduce the what-if worries. For the rest I would cut the ties and keep a very strict line to avoid being dragged into the mess.
I'm not saying to be rude but be very very clear that you cant help with any of the debts.

I'm so sorry for your situation.
From experience of two near relatives passing recently my advice would be to go talk to a solicitor ASAP.
Most will offer the first appointment FOC and help you develop a strategy going forward.
Sad to say that even if wills had been made, it can still take up to two years to sort it so prepare for a long haul.
In saying that I'm not being negative it's just the way these things go.
Best of luck.

I've sadly had to deal with deceased relatives affairs including obtaining probate and dealing with wills

However reading these issues, I'd be seeking professional advice and get an idea on what their fee's are likely to be and then go from there

It sounds pretty complex and could get messy

Also I think your north of the border and the law maybe different

I feel your pain mate - we've seen something similar happen with one of my close relatives which involved sequestration(bankruptcy), deceit, fraud, prison, major health issues, eviction. Then to make matters worse the same person did almost all of it again about 10 years later (late last year)!

All you can really do is protect yourself firstly because you're no use to anyone if you get dragged into it as well. Then try to advise those involved to get professional advice asap to start trying to unravel things. Also, anyone who hasn't had a credit report done should do so to ensure there are no financial links to those directly involved. You can get a statutory credit report for £2 so no need to sign up for a subscription service if you don't want to.

Hopefully your mother in law will be okay because I think there are protections in place to ensure that someone in her position can't be kicked out of their home because a co-owner has financial issues. It might just mean that the 50% of the house that she doesn't own ends up owned by someone else pending the sale of the house in the future. But that's just my understanding and I'm sure you'll be getting professional advice on that as a priority.

Unfortunately things might get worse before they get better as you might not have exposed all the bad news yet. But it will get better in time so just hang in there and look after yourselves and try to eat/sleep etc as normally as you can.

Take care.