LoMoss
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 05:21 PM |
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Locost way to fix economy
If its been posted before sorry, search didn't come up with anything.
Its not rocket science but it may well work if the also find away to have money in the bank safe too!
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car. Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also...........
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it
out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost
three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy
old folk of Britain to speak up!
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 05:24 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by LoMoss
It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!
As a fully paid-up grumpy old git - I find it very hard to argue with any of your proposals! 
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smart51
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 05:42 PM |
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there are only 2 1/2 million unemployed. Making 10 million job vacancies is a bit of over engineering that particular problem.
Buy a British car? Erm, a Bristol, a Morgan or an Aston Martin? Or do you want all our pensioners driving Ultimas?
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Dangle_kt
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 05:45 PM |
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I thought about this a lot, as I've had the email about 5 times.
It would cost
this much to do it
£10,000,000,000,000.00
Now that is A LOT.
I'm not sure telling people to buy fags and alcohol will "fix" the deficit - remember the country has an additional
£10,000,000,000,000.00 to pay back now.
How would them buying a house fix the housing crisis? Still not enough houses to go round.
Who's has kids at uni age who are over 60? I;d say most are more like 40-59 for parents with uni age.
Also people will run up huge debts waiting for their pay out.
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Paul TigerB6
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 08:24 PM |
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Make all over 50's retire - lose the greater proportion of top executives who successfully run companies with their years of
experience................ and destroy the British economy when every global company pulls out!!
Daftest idea to fix the economy i think i've ever heard. Funny though!! 
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plentywahalla
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 09:01 PM |
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Over 50's are the highest earners in the country paying tax and NI into the exchequer of around £150 Billion per annum.
So the government are going to pay £10 Thousand Billion pounds (10 Trillion) to lose an additional £150 Billion per annum?
I'm glad you're not the chancellor .... I have to emigrate!
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Theshed
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 09:19 PM |
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Oh dear...........what an idiot
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LoMoss
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 09:32 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Theshed
Oh dear...........what an idiot
Who?
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 09:43 PM |
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I do hope people aren't taking this proposal TOO seriously... eh?
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LoMoss
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 09:48 PM |
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Hope so.
As I thought I could build a car for £250, I thought this was not too bad a deal.
Its just a viral email up for discusion.
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locogeoff
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| posted on 9/6/11 at 10:08 PM |
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"analysing a joke is like dissecting a frog: no one enjoys it, and the frog dies"
Jimmy Carr
[Edited on 9/6/11 by locogeoff]
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Doctor Derek Doctors
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 12:58 PM |
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Its a good job nobody sugessted this while Gordon Brown was Chancellor....... this sort of brilliant idea would have been right up his street.
Designer and Supplier of the T89 Designs - Single Seater Locost. Build you own Single Seater Racecar for ~£5k.
Plans and Drawings available, U2U or e-mail for details.
Available Now: The Sports Racer Add-On pack, Build a full bodied Sports Racer for Trackdays, Sprints and Racing.
www.t89.co.uk
www.racecarwings.co.uk
callan@t89.co.uk
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NOTE:This user is registered as a LocostBuilders trader and may offer commercial services to other users
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inkafone
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 02:15 PM |
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A "real" billion used to be a million million now it's just a thousand million so the old billion is the new billion x 1000. Just
bring back the 76%/90% tax rate and get the super rich (Ecclestone,FA bods,slimy bankers/politicians/lawyers,idiot footballers & their
managers,camelot directors,drug (illegal & legal) dealers,oil tycoons,those dragon's den thieves etc etc) to relinquish their ill gotten
gains - then there's all the money in banks that's unclaimed,offshore accounts,swiss banks........there's more than enough to go
round it just needs redistributing...........
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hughpinder
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 03:02 PM |
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Actually, I think that if you have a lower tax rate for earnings over (say) £1,000,000 a year it is more likely to bring money in. If Richard Branson
etc and can go offshore and pay less than 15% on his 200million and a couple of million to a tax consultant, he's going to do it rather than
paying even 40% here, let alone 70% or 90%. The only reason not to do this is that it would upset the normal people like you and me because he's
earning more but paying less %, but would result in billions in extra tax as it wouldn't be worth them going off shore(You could probably be a
few % above the offshore rate before people would start to make the effort to go offshore). Sadly, people aren't pragmatic enough to accept
this. Last year there was an article in the paper looking at how much you have to earn before its financially worth paying a tax consultant to set
you up offshore- it was just over 100K which is actually 7% of all uk saleries.
Also, lower corperation tax for manufacturers like pharmaceuticals, who can cheaply export their product and make the 'profit' in
Switzerland at 15% corperation tax, rather than twice that here.(Lets see, if we make a billion pounds worth of pharmaceuticals (sale price) in the
uk, but that'll cost us 300,000,000 of corperation tax. If we make it in the uk, but sell it internally to our Swiss company for cost, uk tax 0,
swiss tax 150,000,000. Since its only about 30 lorries a year to transport the stuff, its a no brainer. If the UK charged the same tax as the swiss
they'd get 150,000,000 of tax rather than 0.
Regards
Hugh
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Ninehigh
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 03:03 PM |
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Could make it voluntary... But I don't think I could spend £100 a week and beer!
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James
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 03:20 PM |
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Actually, some of you are right! It's really easy to fix the economy quickly and we'll all live like millionaires!
Amazing that no one in *any* government has every managed to think of this!!!
James
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"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights."
- Muhammad Ali
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AndyW
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| posted on 10/6/11 at 03:30 PM |
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Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan
Un-earned bonuses? So if you happened to work for a company (i.e a bank) and they set your targets to acheive, and you acheived them, then your bonus
is unearned?
Also there has been a discussion before, if a banker gets a £1million bonus, guess what?
anything he earns over £37,000 is 40% tax so if the million was his only bonus thats 40% of £963,00 in income tax. So the government receive ££385,000
in tax. Plus the 20% tax on the £37,000 + car etc
So it actually works better for the economy for the banks to pay big bonuses as more is returned back into the system
See the ironic and funny side of it
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