It was entertainment night at the retirement home and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced,
"Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations "

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
gleaming off its polished surface Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the
swaying watch, until, suddenly, ------ it slipped from the hypnotist's
fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit!" said the Hypnotist ...

It took three weeks to clean up the retirement home.

lucky he didn't say "fook"

Or "bugger me!"