* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking hairy spheres ( poo ).

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

* SINBAD.
Single working girls - Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

* GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the loo. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a " McShit with Lies ".

* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 110kilo in your bed instead.

* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a pub crawl at 3:00am .

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a pub crawl, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* PICASSO BUM.
A doris whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

*DONUT
somebody who buys a car/project and gives up 2% in then sells at a loss.

Thanks Bob

*Wanker
donut!

quote:

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Originally posted by bob
*DONUT
somebody who buys a car/project and gives up 2% in then sells at a loss.

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but true!!

Have you actually bought a 100E Donut?

If so, when you give up, let me know... always fancied one of those!

Chris

quote:

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Originally posted by ChrisW
Have you actually bought a 100E Donut?

If so, when you give up, let me know... always fancied one of those!

Chris

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Leave that as it is and rent it to Heartbeat

well apart from evryone ripping you to pieces donut, i will say that the phases are very good! made the start of my day brighter anyway!

Donut,

If you like that lot, have a look at Viz's Profanisaurus. 10,000 swear words, alternative definitions and counting!

"Corgi Registered euph.
Humorous description of a man who is fully qualified at servicing boilers."

"Paisley jogger n.
A thief or shoplifter beating a hasty retreat through the streets of the popular Glasgow garden suburb. "

"highdea n.
A brilliant plan or scheme that is conceived whilst under the influence of stupefying intoxicants that, when viewed in the cold, sober light of day, is revealed to be a load of old cack, eg. Writing a sitcom about the funny things students say when stoned, building a floating city in the sky using helium-filled girders, or Fleetwood Mac's Tusk album. A West country equivalent is the term cidea"

Mike

quote:

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Originally posted by Mr Whippy

quote:

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Originally posted by ChrisW
Have you actually bought a 100E Donut?

If so, when you give up, let me know... always fancied one of those!

Chris

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I believe this is his chariot, apparently mint too, just missing the Police sign and a blue light -

Image deleted by owner

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