10 Downing Street, London SW1
Dear People of the United Kingdom
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the
economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put
workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will
be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible
for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED
once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems
appropriate.
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much S**T
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always
prided itself in the amount of S**T it gives out. Should you feel that
you do not receive enough S**T, please bring this to the attention of
your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the S**T you can
handle.
Sincerely,
Gordon Brown
Quality
Oh so i have s--tout once again for being too old
It's a bit like dicks, assholes and %^&*( speech in Team America
ATB
Simon
quote:
Originally posted by Simon
It's a bit like dicks, assholes and %^&*( speech in Team America
..actually, it's middle 40's that you become unemployable following redundancy.... but what the hell, that cheered me up a bit.
There's no S**T though, you're simply ignored, there's no 'help' either. I am (however) happy that the 'retirement'
age is being raised to save costs (except for the pubic sector of course).... but retirement from 'what' job....
Anyway, I'm off this afternoon to bake your bread, unlocal supermarket, minimum wage, part time (nothing full).