ok,my girlie arrives in 6 hours time.
ive cleaned (well my sister did) the place from top to bottom,done the washing up,cut the grass,filled the fridge with chocolate,anything ive forgotten?

fresh underwear?

Hide the pr0n?

removed photos of you + exes?

removed gearbox / engine / car bits from the kitchen table?

Rohypnol? (That last one was a joke!!)

All I can think of......

Flowers?

Deffo flowers!

Fozzie

Just remember that women are like computers because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.

Vinny said...removed gearbox / engine / car bits from the kitchen table?



ask bob about that one.
flowers are in the garden(where they belong)

create a nice smell in house..

not that i like it but their humour is for 30% effected by smells...

Tks

If youve done a great job of tidying up then;
a. She will probs spot something wrong anyway,
b. She will expect you to do it more often.

To counteract this leave something not quite right and easily spotted to divert her attention from something more serious that you may have missed.

Have you watered the plants outside

Are the pets still alive and not dehydrayed / malnutritioned / busting for the lav???


Dont forget to take cleaned parts out of dishwasher and painted parts out of oven.

Bed linen changed?

You'll get big brownie points for clean sheets and duvet on the bed

quote:

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Originally posted by theconrodkid
V
flowers are in the garden(where they belong)

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and get some ice cream

chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?

or is that just my gf ?

quote:

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Originally posted by graememk
chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?

or is that just my gf ?

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quote:

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Originally posted by graememk
chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?

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Give bill a bath and brush his teeth

Oh and have you removed that bucket of soup from the living room ? you know the one with the battery charger leads in connected to the two plates of steel

as always the boys and girls of LCB are full of right/wrong answers,time for a nap before i fight my way to the airport,the only thing i,m unsure about are the tracking gauges in the front room

Seriously mate, unless she has an alergy, buy flowers.

Which reminds me...

Condoms?

Ah... if your meeting her at the airport......

be waiting at the arrivals gate carrying flowers.... and not in your overalls that you have had on in the garage!

and whatever you do, never forget rule number one! TELL HER HAIR LOOKS NICE! just in case,you never know - she may have had it done whilst away and cruelly forgot to warn you!.... honestly how they expect us mere mortals to actually notice new hair cuts is beyond me!

Have you checked the bed for loose long blonde alien hairs?

Failing that, wire the door handle to the mains as a greeting!

checked you haven't left any 'specialist' dvd's in the player?

See you went wrong on post one!!!

Women need to feel needed and important.

You should have left a pile of washing and loads of dirty cups and plates. When she comes in you tell her how much you have missed her. She will make a big deal of it for10 minutes but will then feel really important.

This works for me..... or gives me a reason to be a slob while she is away

Harpic down the toilet bowl...oh and new toilet roll.

Don't call her a girlie - at least not to her face

[Edited on 24/7/07 by Macbeast]

Have you got the boiler on for hot water and some nice bubble bath.

I'm not sure this is the correct place to go looking for tips on how to make your bird feel special... most people on here haven't seen their misses (or anyone else's) for at least the last four years of their project!!!

but for what it's worth... industrial strength cling film and a bottle of baby oil

quote:

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Originally posted by bpgoa
but for what it's worth... industrial strength cling film and a bottle of baby oil

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just hide all your anal probes and hogtying regalia...

cover all sharp objects incase you pop her hehe

so far so good,and tango man,tried that,didnt work for moi