I get so pissed off with adults using youngsters to 'sell' something to strangers. Obviously no-one gives a damn about their safety- this is a rural setting and they're being told to wander from house to house talking to strangers...
Just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's witnesses... a very pretty young lady and her cutie-pie little sister (big smile and missing teeth).
Clever marketing, or what?
I get so pissed off with adults using youngsters to 'sell' something to strangers. Obviously no-one gives a damn about their safety- this
is a rural setting and they're being told to wander from house to house talking to strangers...
quote:
Originally posted by scootz
Just had a visit from a pair of Jehovah's witnesses... a very pretty young lady and her cutie-pie little sister (big smile and missing teeth). Clever marketing, or what?
The only Jeho I have had call was a 45 year old man who looked as if he needed a bath (mind you he did have a pretty daughter with him come to think
of it). Useful though, turns out he was a window cleaner, so instead of pestering me, he now cleans my windows.
Barry
I too have been visted by a pair of females! One roughly 55 - 60 years old and the other around 21 ish.
I was on the phone to Welderman at the time so I couldn't possibly let them in, no matter how much he told me too 
(well one of them anyway
)
Steve
An opening for my favourite joke....
What do you get if you cross a Hell's angle with a Jehova's Witness?........
Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to f**k off.
Cheers
Fred W B
r
I recall a vist from such folks several years ago. I was on my back, laid in oily gravel, trying to fit a new subframe mounting to my Minivan.
They waffled on for about 20 minutes whilst I got more piffed-off at my stupid car. Eventually I enquired "Am I bothering you?"
They both looked at each other and said "Not at all son"
So I said "Well feck off and stop bothering me!!"
A woman came and knocked on my door with a big basket full of bread - bloody hovis witnesses.
Joking aside - my missus was brought up as a witness and her parents still are, as is my colleague at work, so know quite a bit about it and I just
think it's one of the most messed up religions going, only a scratch away from being a cult as far as I'm concerned. A load of weird rules
based on square pegs fitting round holes. Most sickening is their apparent treatement of molested children and protection of the molestor as talked
about in detail on silentlambs.org.
I had two of them at my door last week asking if they could come in and watch me washing my hair......... they where jojoba witnesses
coats on.
It's dangerous to talk too much about religion on a forum like this, because somebody is bound to get upset. I know they are brainwashed lambs, but I think if you can get them on your side, as LB... did with the window washing, it works out for everyone; the JW will try to sell you constantly on his religion and as such does a good job on the windows. Double points if they're pretty girls.Win, win. Especially if it gets the neighbours talking!
just tell em your a mormon .!
works for me .
only one time in swansea i was watching wales v engand , 3pm , nock on door (definitely not a welshman at that time) ,err sir can we interset you in
the name of god , no im a mormon , oh really ..... you get the story .
i missed 15 mins of the game before i said i needed to go get my pint of guiness !!
anyway , the thing that really bothers me about jehovahs is how can they believe all teh dead people are going to rise up ....
We had one come and start work with us a few years back and we just saw it as a challenge.
it took us less than 6 months to have him binge drinking on the weekends, swearing like a pro and letching at women. Our work was done!
There's a nest of them just down the street from us so their visitors try a few doors on the street now and then to try and get a response. Their latest tactic is to tell you that they are Jehovas' Witnesses as soon as you answer the door, which they never used to do, so as soon as they announced "Hello we're Jehovas' Witnesses" I just said, "has there been an accident then, I didn't see anything" and shut the door.
I had a little conversation with a Jehova's witness the other day. I foolishly sat down on the only unoccupied seat on the train (other people
where standing). Shortly afterwards I found out why people where standing....
He discovered I'd had a bad day....
JW: "Good evening Sir"
me: "Evening"
JW: "Are you having a good day?"
me: "I was, yes" (I lied....)
JW: "Do you believe in God?"
me: "I believe in something, I wouldn't call it God, and I'm pretty certain it isn't your God"
JW: "There is only one God"
me: "That's what all religeons say, if they're wrong about that, what else are they wrong about?"
JW: "But God speaks to people so he must be real"
me: "Some of my patients have conversations with Elvis but I don't think he's alive or the son of God. Then again, a lot of people
think that's he is alive despite having a really quite high profile burial... And quite how he squeezed into those jump-suits in his last show at
Vegas was quite a miracle"
JW: "But you've got to believe!!"
me: "Yes, I suppose you have to believe because if you try to rationalise it there's no evidence God exists".
JW: "You have to be on the right path. It's like driving- you have to take the right road"
me: "What happens if I prefer taking the train though?"
JW: "You'll still end up in the wrong place. It's like heading for Luton and ending up in Paris"
me: "So if I become a believer, I'll end up in Luton all the time, whereas if I don't believe I'll end up in lots of rather more
interesting places, and what's more why would I want to go to Luton every day for the rest of my life"
JW: "But maybe God wants you to go to Luton"
me: "When then I'm f@cked because this train doesn't go to Luton, it goes to Richmond"
JW: "You have to find your own way, but there's only one right road"
me: "What about if I fly to Paris, then fly back to London and take the Thameslink to Luton?".
JW: "I think you're getting confused"
me: "Is accomodation included on the trip to Paris?"
JW: "We're getting off the point...."
me: "I sometimes hear voices telling me which is the right road to take"
JW: "Really? It must be God"
me: "See, we must have different Gods. Your's is called Jehovah, mine is apparantly called TomTom"
JW: "God is not a SatNav"
me: "No, there's evidence that a SatNav exists, it's a hell of a lot more use when you're in trouble and if I want to change it to
a Garmin I don't get disowned by half my community, labelled a "sinner" and possibly burned at the stake. What's more I
don't get people hassling me on the train home from work trying to get me to switch from one SatNav to another"
Luckily (for him) my stop arrived and I got off
quote:
Originally posted by dave1888
I had two of them at my door last week asking if they could come in and watch me washing my hair......... they where jojoba witnesses
coats on.
Me being a The Big Bang Theory man I had a couple of them come round and knocked on the door so I invited them in “Try it. It really freaks them out”
because I was a bit pissed and we were having a bbq in the garden with my mates and family.
Only one problem my brother in law is a Minster of the Baptist church a very down to earth bloke. We call him Ned Flanders
I think within 2 hours THEY were converted or pissed.
I was brought up as a catholic and went to a very strict catholic school.
Although I had religious education every day we were taught to lead an honest life to help others and treat others as I wish to be treated
And to be honest that’s what everyone on here does by helping each other out, if it wasn’t for the help of others on this site my car would of never
passed sva
I was taught that the Christian religion was a way of teaching illiterate people 2000 years ago, right from wrong by teaching them stories.
Although, Jesus was Jewish ? and lived in a muslin country and is mentioned in the karan as a martyr.
Personally I think the Christian Bible is a English interpretation of the Karan.
I used to work with a woman who was a Jehovah's Witness - a pleasant lady who didn't push her religious views at work. When I spoke to her
about it some of their ideas made sense: for example, Christmas and Easter are pagan festivals that were modified by the romans when christianity came
along (Christmas was the mid-winter festival, Easter used to be Eostre - IIRC) so they don't support them. When I asked whether Jehovah's
Witness kids missed out at Christmas, she said that they have REALLY good birthdays as compensation!
Anyway, I hate all organised religion - so many wars and mass murders have been perpetrated in the name of organised religion...
quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
I used to work with a woman who was a Jehovah's Witness - a pleasant lady who didn't push her religious views at work. When I spoke to her about it some of their ideas made sense: for example, Christmas and Easter are pagan festivals that were modified by the romans when christianity came along (Christmas was the mid-winter festival, Easter used to be Eostre - IIRC) so they don't support them. When I asked whether Jehovah's Witness kids missed out at Christmas, she said that they have REALLY good birthdays as compensation!
Anyway, I hate all organised religion - so many wars and mass murders have been perpetrated in the name of organised religion...
quote:
Originally posted by Volvorsport
just tell em your a mormon .!
I used to get JW's walking down my long, country driveway to knock on my door (usually, about 6:00 a.m. on Saturdays and Sundays), until I put up
a sign on my fence by the road. The sign says "My dogs can make it from the front door to the gate in 3.5 seconds. Can you?" That, plus
the barking of my Doberman and my Alsatian, seems to have put an end to their uninvited & semi-nocturnal visits...
Now, if I could just figure a way to make this work for phone solicitors...
quote:
Originally posted by eznfrank
Not sure if you're joking or not but witnesses don't celebrate birthdays? Funny, strictly speaking they shouldn't even use the days of the week either as they have pagan origins!!
Watch Calum Gilhooly deal with them. The video quality is crap but listen to the dialogue. Absolutely at its' best.
To get rid of the phone people just say: "No thank you, and never call here again". It actually works. Until your wife decides that getting the paper delivered is actually a good idea, then it starts all over again.
We have some sort of 'area co-ordinator' next door. When he moved in I made it clear I wasn't interested, but I had a knock on the door
one dark night and there's a local brickie I know standing there:
Me: "Hello Les."
Jehovah' Brickie: "Oh, hello Ferg"
Me: "What can I do for you?"
JB: "Oh, I'm just handing these out." (Offers The Watchtower)
Me: "Sorry Les, I respect people's right to their beliefs, but I'm a blood donor and the idea that people would let their children die
rather than have a transfusion just sickens me."
JB: "Yeah, some people do take it a bit too seriously."
LOL!!!!
mmmm i'll prepare to be stoned interesting thread this one, my wife and i were brought up as jw's and most of our family are, we were
both baptised into the religion a few years ago and married as witnesses about two years after we got married my wife decided she wanted a break from
the religion and we decided to stop going to the meetings and havn't been back . from my personal experiance as a witness you find some people
can be a bit fanatical trying to preach at every oppotunity my grandmother was like that and it used to p*ss me off a bit my belief was that if
somebody was intersted then they would ask, as for knocking on peoples door's then this is part of the religion and not the only religion to do
this i didn't enjoy knocking on peoples doors but did it and most people were polite and if not interested used to say so as for two ladies
preaching on there own this is very unusual you will normally find there out in group's and other members of the group will be close by . since
we have stopped practising the religion we have found a few members have been funny with us but most are geniune people and still treat us as friends
when we see them we still don't celebrate christmas or birthday's etc but we do frequently buy each other presents and make quite a big
thing of our wedding anniversary . i'll now prepare myself for a public stoning no women or chidren allowed
quote:
Originally posted by andybod. from my personal experiance as a witness you find some people can be a bit fanatical trying to preach at every oppotunity my grandmother was like that and it used to p*ss me off a bit
Most ammusing thing I ever heard about the is that the Church of England is worried by the rising threat of "evangelical atheism" -
surely an oxymoron ?
Just keep a few pages copied from Richard Dawkin's "The God Delusion" handy ready to hand out to such callers and watch them
"make their excuses and leave".
Using pretty girls to tout religion is an old trick the Salvation Army know's the power of a pretty girl in uniform !
In the Glasgow area about 15 years ago the was a religious sect operating that used young women to flirt with guys and them try and seduce them into
the sect.
(Life of Brian)
The ones down the road from us still try the door knocking but I just tell them I'm not interested. The funny thing is they won't even say
Hello if you pass them in the street which is something I do with all my neighbours. One of my friends Les is a Jovie and when he was doing the rounds
with them he came and talked to me outside but it was about computers
My mrs won't let me play with any of the callers or preachers in the street
Used to go to church, played bass in church band and in another that mostly played church youth events and the such. Some of my good friends are
still churchy folk they know my feelings I know theirs and nothing gets said BUT!!!! some of the other ones in the "click" would hardly look
twice at me in the street because I dont go every sunday(well any sunday).
One of the reasons I didnt stick with it was because i found a lot to be very hypocritical, once we had a debate about working sundays 1 of the
strongest veiwed and most religous girls said should only be ministers and emergancy services... Until she had to pay her way through university
seems mcdonalds drive thru and selling paintings became emergancy services very quickly!!! Also they have a very biased approach only deal with
evidence for their own religion and against others ..
But some of the best lines i've used have been
"wasnt jesus born a jew live as a jew and die as a jew????"
and to start them down the path of everything needs to be created as in no big bang theory someone has to make it. then ask who made god, usual
reply is no one he is all powerfull etc etc, to which you hit them with their own line " but everything needs to be created it cant just
BE"
Theres a lot more things you can fire at them which usually see's them turning on their heels if you like the supposed fact behind the da vinci
code or the whole conspircy theories thers some good books out there.
AND before anyone gets offended by my comments DON'T I think anyone should be allowed to follow any belief as long as it doesnt harm or include
brainwashing anyone else. I only go into anti-religon mode when someone does the whole your a sinner or repent now malarky to me first.
quote:
Originally posted by johnston
But some of the best lines i've used have been
"wasnt jesus born a jew live as a jew and die as a jew????"
Anyone heard the Kevin Bloody Wilson song about JW's?
'How would they like it if we knocked on their door on a Saturday night, stick book(porn in UK english) in one hand and a six pack in the other.
Wife in low cut dress, and both dressed in best shorts and thongs, (english-flip flops).
Hello, we've come to introduce youse people to a whole new way of life. Here, you, have a beer while I have a maul of your wife'....
Yair, just imagine if we did this to them?????
Classic KBW.
quote:
Originally posted by graememk
IPersonally I think the Christian Bible is a English interpretation of the Karan.
"In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded" (Terry Pratchett)
big bang in an interesting theory. what worries and keeps me awake some nights is what caused the big bang and why isn't there another big bang, I mean, it would wreck my garden for a start.
But was it a big bang, or just a little pfft?
quote:
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
