Viper
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 posted on 6/2/04 at 11:56 PM |
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Aircraft techs
the following may be true it may not, i don't care either way. It cracks me up...
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline thathas never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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flyingkiwi
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| posted on 7/2/04 at 07:02 AM |
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I've seen them before in some tech magazine.
Tried to use one of them with one of our pilots (bit of a nonce this bloke) He had a sense of humour failure, and I got a right bollocking of the
senior engineer. The engineer did admit to me later that he thought it was rather funny.
Pilot's are so anal
It Runs!!!!! Bring on the SVA!
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Deckman001
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| posted on 7/2/04 at 11:05 AM |
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Absolutely Brilliant !! I was crying with laughter by the end
Thanks, Hope you don't mind if i pass it on !!
Jason
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Spyderman
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| posted on 9/2/04 at 05:31 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Deckman001
Absolutely Brilliant !! I was crying with laughter by the end
Jason
Ditto!
Absolutely superb!
Terry
Spyderman
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macspeedy
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| posted on 9/2/04 at 05:38 PM |
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very good, has been passed on hope you don't mind
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stephen_gusterson
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| posted on 9/2/04 at 08:06 PM |
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its from here
http://www.knitwitology.net/wiki/QuantasMaintenaceLog
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