RazMan
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| posted on 29/5/07 at 09:00 PM |
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Kids!
For those with no children, this is totally hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children of this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is a form of birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Texas:
Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding);
1. A King Size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hairspray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates/blades they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 300 people in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman cape. It
is strong enough however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint over all 4 walls of a large room.
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat. You have to throw the ball up a few times before you get
a hit. A ceiling fan can then throw a ball a long way.
6. The glass in a window (even a double-glazed one) does not stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and you hear the words (Uh oh) it is already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke. And lots of it.
9. A 6-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Superglue is forever.
13. No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like jelly.
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in petrol tanks make a lot of noise when driving and are very expensive to remove.
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes.
21. The spin cycle of the washing machine does not make worms dizzy.
22. The mind of a 6-year old is an amazing thing. One day the teacher at the infant school was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her
class. She came to that part of the story where the first little pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his house. She read
"And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said 'Pardon me Sir but may I have some of that straw to build
my house?' The teacher paused then asked the class "And what do you think the man said?"
One little boy raised his hand and said "I think he said 'Holy XXXX. A talking pig!' ." The teacher was unable to talk for the
next ten minutes.
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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David Jenkins
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| posted on 29/5/07 at 09:03 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 29/5/07 at 09:19 PM |
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quote:
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
If it wasn't pissing down with rain i'd be trying it right now
Tommorrow is another day
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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RazMan
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| posted on 29/5/07 at 09:21 PM |
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Now why am I not surprised?
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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oadamo
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| posted on 29/5/07 at 09:24 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by David Jenkins
quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
i was thinking i try it as soon as i red it pmsl
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IainB
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 12:13 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
It just has to be done!
Iain
http://s43.photobucket.com/albums/e365/IainB1986/
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smart51
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 07:00 AM |
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quote:
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
I did briefly consider it.
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Keith Weiland
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 08:57 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
This I can attest to, and not only for plastic toys which won't explode the way a can of furniture polish may. Luckily my wife had to remove
some pans from the oven before whe turned it on and spotted the polish at the back.
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iank
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 09:24 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by IainB
quote:
Originally posted by RazMan
23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
It just has to be done!
Iain
If it does smoke, don't breath it.
p.s. My kids are this age, it was funny but a bit 'American' 
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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steve m
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 09:16 PM |
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23. 60% of those men who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid.
Ive only got synthetic, does that work ??
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RazMan
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 09:27 PM |
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I think I need to edit the last item in original list to something like ....
23. 99% of Locost Builders who read this will try mixing the bleach and the brake fluid and then report their findings back to the forum
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 30/5/07 at 09:59 PM |
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Still raining so mothing to report
If it looks wrong it probably is wrong.
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