robinbastd
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| posted on 4/10/05 at 09:48 PM |
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Limerick
There once was a man from Racine,
Who invented a screwing machine.
Both concave and convex,
It could please either sex,
But,oh,what a bastard to clean!
Only a dead fish swims with the tide.
http://smuttygifts.com/
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Peteff
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| posted on 4/10/05 at 10:14 PM |
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Alternative Limerick.
There was a young fellow from Leeds,
Who got stung on the neck by some wasps,
When asked if it hurt,
He said, "No not a bit
They can do it again if they want"
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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robinbastd
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| posted on 4/10/05 at 10:19 PM |
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An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.
Only a dead fish swims with the tide.
http://smuttygifts.com/
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rick q
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 03:11 AM |
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There was a young woman from Boda
Who had an erotic pagoda
The walls of its halls
were festooned with the balls
and the tools of the fools who bestrode her
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Rorty
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 06:20 AM |
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There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake.
A man in a punt
Stuck his pole in her ear
And said "Oi! It's too bloody dangerous to swim here!"
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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marcyboy
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 11:08 AM |
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there was a young girl form Kilkenny
whose usual charge was a penny
for half of that sum
you could roger her bum
what a source of amusement for many
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quattromike
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 07:55 PM |
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There was a young qwine fae glengarry
Christ she'd a fud like a quarry
When she sat doon on her hide
Expecting a ride
A manny backed in wee a larry
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 08:02 PM |
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There was a young man from madras
whose ballocks were made out of brass
when they both clanged together they played stormy weather
and lightening shot out of his arse.
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omega 24 v6
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 08:03 PM |
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Qwine = young girl for the uneducated amongst us
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robinbastd
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 09:16 PM |
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There was a poor parson from Goring,
Who made a small hole in his flooring,
Fur lined it all round,Then laid to the ground.
And declared it was cheaper than whoring.
Only a dead fish swims with the tide.
http://smuttygifts.com/
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Rorty
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 09:28 PM |
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There was an old woman from Horton
Who had a long tit and a short un.
Not only that,
She'd a whopping great twat
And a fart like a 500 Norton.
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 09:30 PM |
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There was a young girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think,
But was grey, had long ears
And ate grass.
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 09:32 PM |
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There was an old man from Kentuckit
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with great cheer
If my chin was my ear
And my ear was a c*nt, I could f*ck it!
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 5/10/05 at 09:35 PM |
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There was a young girl from the Cape
Who was had by a rather large ape.
The offspring was horrid,
All arse and no forehead
And its knob was all bent out of shape.
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Bob C
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 11:37 AM |
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the homemade car builder called rorty
knows more limericks than he ought tae
later on when he
gets asked just how many
he'll answer twelve thousand and forty
pref anon.....
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robinbastd
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:09 PM |
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A fisherman off of Cape Cod
Said "I'll bugger that tuna,by God!"
But the high minded fish
resented his wish,
And nimbly swam off with his rod.
Only a dead fish swims with the tide.
http://smuttygifts.com/
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robinbastd
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:12 PM |
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A bobby of Nottingham Junction
Whose organ had long ceased to function
Deceived his good wife
For the rest of her life
With the aid of his constable's truncheon.
Only a dead fish swims with the tide.
http://smuttygifts.com/
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indykid
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:25 PM |
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There was a young fellow called Lloyd
Who was frequently under-employed
At his regular job
So he polished his knob
Making customers very annoyed.
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:33 PM |
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There was an old man from Bengal
Who had a hexagonal ball
The length of his flute
Was twice the cube root
Of three times the square
Of f*ck all
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:35 PM |
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There was a young lad from Darjeeling
Who took a bus ride to Ealing
It said on the door
Do not spit on the floor
So he lay down
And spat on the ceiling
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:37 PM |
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There was a young plumber called Leigh
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said "stop your plumbing,
There's sombody coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me!"
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:40 PM |
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There was a young fellow called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I'll admit
I'm a bit of a sh1t,
But think of the money I'll save!"
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:43 PM |
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There was a young mate of a lugger
Who went out with a girl just to hug her.
"I've my monthlies" she said,
"And a cold in the head,
But my 4rse seems OK....do you bugger?"
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Rorty
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:46 PM |
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A Catholic priest from Madrid
Who looked with lewd eyes on a kid,
He said "with great joy
I could bugger that boy.
I'll be damned if I dont!"....And he did!
Cheers, Rorty.
"Faster than a speeding Pullet".
PLEASE DON'T U2U ME IF YOU WANT A QUICK RESPONSE. TRY EMAILING ME INSTEAD!
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Hellfire
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| posted on 6/10/05 at 09:47 PM |
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There once was a guy called rorty
His limericks were everso naughty
His rhyms are misleading
but funny and appealling
Has you laughing where you really shoudn oughtae
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