theconrodkid
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:27 PM |
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women
ok,my girlie arrives in 6 hours time.
ive cleaned (well my sister did) the place from top to bottom,done the washing up,cut the grass,filled the fridge with chocolate,anything ive
forgotten?
who cares who wins
pass the pork pies
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vinny1275
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:30 PM |
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fresh underwear?
Hide the pr0n?
removed photos of you + exes?
removed gearbox / engine / car bits from the kitchen table?
Rohypnol? (That last one was a joke!!)
All I can think of......
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iank
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:32 PM |
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Flowers?
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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Fozzie
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:38 PM |
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Deffo flowers! 
Fozzie
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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RazMan
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:50 PM |
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Just remember that women are like computers because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheque on accessories for it.
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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theconrodkid
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:51 PM |
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Vinny said...removed gearbox / engine / car bits from the kitchen table?
ask bob about that one.
flowers are in the garden(where they belong)
who cares who wins
pass the pork pies
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tks
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:56 PM |
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create a nice smell in house..
not that i like it but their humour is for 30% effected by smells...
Tks
The above comments are always meant to be from the above persons perspective.
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DarrenW
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 12:58 PM |
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If youve done a great job of tidying up then;
a. She will probs spot something wrong anyway,
b. She will expect you to do it more often.
To counteract this leave something not quite right and easily spotted to divert her attention from something more serious that you may have missed.
Have you watered the plants outside
Are the pets still alive and not dehydrayed / malnutritioned / busting for the lav???
Dont forget to take cleaned parts out of dishwasher and painted parts out of oven.
Bed linen changed?
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nick205
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:18 PM |
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You'll get big brownie points for clean sheets and duvet on the bed
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Fozzie
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:24 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by theconrodkid
V
flowers are in the garden(where they belong)
Hmmm..... well.... perhaps she just might be surprised if you break a habit of a lifetime then ..... just for her! ... cut some and stick 'em in
vase/jam jar.... 
Fozzie 
'Racing is Life!...anything before or after is just waiting'....Steve McQueen
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scottc
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:26 PM |
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and get some ice cream
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graememk
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:26 PM |
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chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?
or is that just my gf ?
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iank
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:32 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by graememk
chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?
or is that just my gf ?
 Too much information!!!
--
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Anonymous
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RazMan
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 01:46 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by graememk
chocolate body paint and a gimp suit ?
Have you tried to get chocolate stains out of a gimp suit??? Nothing shifts it!
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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bob
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 02:24 PM |
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Give bill a bath and brush his teeth
Oh and have you removed that bucket of soup from the living room ? you know the one with the battery charger leads in connected to the two plates of
steel
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theconrodkid
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 02:31 PM |
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as always the boys and girls of LCB are full of right/wrong answers,time for a nap before i fight my way to the airport,the only thing i,m unsure
about are the tracking gauges in the front room
who cares who wins
pass the pork pies
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TimC
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 02:38 PM |
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Seriously mate, unless she has an alergy, buy flowers.
Which reminds me...
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donut
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 03:06 PM |
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Condoms?
Andy
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/andywest1/
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 03:34 PM |
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Ah... if your meeting her at the airport......
be waiting at the arrivals gate carrying flowers.... and not in your overalls that you have had on in the garage!
and whatever you do, never forget rule number one! TELL HER HAIR LOOKS NICE! just in case,you never know - she may have had it done whilst away and
cruelly forgot to warn you!.... honestly how they expect us mere mortals to actually notice new hair cuts is beyond me!
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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coozer
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 03:41 PM |
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Have you checked the bed for loose long blonde alien hairs?
Failing that, wire the door handle to the mains as a greeting!
1972 V8 Jago
1980 Z750
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DaveFJ
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 03:44 PM |
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checked you haven't left any 'specialist' dvd's in the player?
Dave
"In Support of Help the Heroes" - Always
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TangoMan
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 06:24 PM |
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See you went wrong on post one!!!
Women need to feel needed and important.
You should have left a pile of washing and loads of dirty cups and plates. When she comes in you tell her how much you have missed her. She will make
a big deal of it for10 minutes but will then feel really important.
This works for me..... or gives me a reason to be a slob while she is away
Summer's here!!!!
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Macbeast
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 06:31 PM |
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Harpic down the toilet bowl...oh and new toilet roll.
Don't call her a girlie - at least not to her face
[Edited on 24/7/07 by Macbeast]
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Peteff
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 06:47 PM |
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Have you got the boiler on for hot water and some nice bubble bath.
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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bpgoa
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| posted on 24/7/07 at 09:35 PM |
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I'm not sure this is the correct place to go looking for tips on how to make your bird feel special... most people on here haven't seen
their misses (or anyone else's) for at least the last four years of their project!!!
but for what it's worth... industrial strength cling film and a bottle of baby oil
On and On the River flows... We the Undertow
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