mr henderson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:22 PM | |
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Locostbuilders forum etiquette, a question.
I started a thread recently,
http://locostbuilders.co.uk/viewthread.php?tid=114901&page=1
and on it, one of the contributors, Steve Hignett, made this remark about me
“Sorry if any of the above has caused offence, I've been celebrating (still having a job) all night, so might not have phrased everything
correctly (especially in regard to the OP's other ridiculous recent posts............) “
Now, as the OP (original poster) referred to, I take offence at that, and have made several requests to Steve to either demonstrate some
ridiculousness in one or more of my posts, or to withdraw the remark. So far, despite several visits to the forum, he has done neither. The remark
itself contains a reference to celebrating, and the context suggests that he may have been drunk at the time of the original remark. Fair enough,
aggression is a common reaction to alcohol, but should be put right at the first opportunity afterwards.
Now, I realise that in some forums this kind of thing is commonplace, but here it isn’t, and I think that is a good thing. What I really want to know
from the other forum users is how they feel about this sort of thing? Do they feel that this kind of bullying remark lowers the tone of the
Locostbuilders forum, and should be discouraged, or do they feel that it’s OK, and that people should be allowed to make this kind of remark about
other users without being challenged?
There are some who may feel that the whole thing is trivial, that it doesn’t matter, and that I am making a fuss about nothing. Feel free to say that,
if that is what you think. Bear in mind, though, that you were not the target, and that it easy to treat wrong done to others as trivial. See if you
feel the same way when someone does it to you.
I should make it clear that I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, and often find myself disagreeing, in my posts, with things that others have
said. In fact, in the first post of the thread, I invited disagreement. Disagreement is at the very heart of an active forum, and it is only by people
each supporting their own point of view that all the relevant material can be brought out for everybody to consider, but being rude about somebody
else is a step too far, for me, and I think most of the other users here would agree.
Please make your thoughts on this known, as I for one thing this is an important issue. If it appears that the consensus is that Steve’s remark is OK,
and should be allowed to go unchallenged and uncorrected, then I will accept that, and reply to him in kind. I expect it will descend into a slanging
match though. If on the other hand the consensus is that it does matter, and that we should all make an attempt to be polite to each other, then I
will accept that too, and having drawn attention to Steve’s remark, say no more about it (unless it happens again).
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slimtater
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:26 PM | |
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As far as I know, the "contributor" status only means you have donated to the site upkeep, not that you are connected with the forum or
subject section. Is that what you are referring to?
Just looked at the post you are referring to. If the reply had caused offence, I would have perhaps done a U2U and just asked if he could edit it. In
all honesty, I don't think your public replies "tracking" his activity help - again, it could have been done in private with a
U2U.
Please take my comment as they are intended - my view on forum etiquette. I don't know either of you or have any connection with the posts in
question.
[Edited on 7/6/09 by slimtater]
http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/19919222
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Steve G
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:33 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by slimtater
As far as I know, the "contributor" status only means you have donated to the site upkeep, not that you are connected with the forum or
subject section.
Contributor in this instance I believe just means someone who posted on the thread mentioned rather than who has paid towards the site upkeep
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Jumpy Guy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:34 PM | |
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To be honest, that wouldn't bother me in the least.
It's not offensive, vulgar, or NSFW. Neither is it racist, sexist, or an other significant ist I can think of.
Surely if someone is drunk then you give them a fair degree of latitude anyway?
(If not, then best avoid me in the pub at any meets)
To end - "Its just the internet. Its not real"
ho hum, back to work...............
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trextr7monkey
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:34 PM | |
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I was always told that it costs nowt to be civil and generally try to be that way. The development of forums and banter betwen people who have never
met requires a further degree of caution and while it is fair to disagree with points of view personal criticism should be left out of it.
Once it gets down to tit for tat squabbling nobody comes out of it looking great and it is embarassing to read.
I haven't read the posts concerned but of the posts I have seen by Mr Hendeson there is usually a lot of common sense there and I can see why
you feel agrieved. I hope it gets sorted amicably "in a grown up sort of way", as I say to the kids at school!!
atb
Milke
ps feel free to disagree with me!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14016102@N00/ (cut and paste this dodgey link)
Our most recent pics are here:
http://s129.photobucket.com/albums/p211/trextr7monkey/
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cd.thomson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:44 PM | |
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has this "calling out" for a mediocre comment been done before?
Craig
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welderman
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:45 PM | |
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I think when JoelP put in a reply saying that your repeating yourself and a review of when he had logged (which doesn't mean that he's
re-read the post by the way, making it a tad more ridiculous) was bordering on ridiculous itself said a lot.
Now that you have started an entirely new thread in the same vain, and potentially pushing someone else's important thread off the forum main
page is a bit off really.
As above, why didn't you ask him privately? Instead of trying to say it so publicly after you invited the criticism.
Thank's, Joe 
I don't stalk people
http://www.locostbuilders.co.uk/forum/23/viewthread.php?tid=172301
Back on with the Fisher Fury R1
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adithorp
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 02:45 PM | |
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From the original thread "...so I won't bother with it too much."
So why continue this? That seems pretty ridiculous to me. As was the last time you carried on like this when someone disagreed with you. No doubt
there'll be another thread complaining about my opinion...
adrian
"A witty saying proves nothing" Voltaire
http://jpsc.org.uk/forum/
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eccsmk
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:00 PM | |
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i dont know how many people there are on this forum
but im going to bet 15 pence that every now and again one or two wont agree
but rather than make it public why not use the u2u facility
and now my thread has been bumped down 
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MikeR
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:00 PM | |
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Mark, having seen your posts in a number of threads I feel you don't react well to comments on the forum. I'm not going to go and quote
every single thread as this is a belief not a fact and more importantly I really can't be bothered.
In the thread your referring too one poster made a comment, instead of going "hmmm, mumble grumble" to yourself and ignoring it you keep
coming back to it. You make mountains out of mole hills. This being a prime example. If you hadn't retorted at all - then you wouldn't
have 3 or 4 other posts on that thread and this whole thread wouldn't exist.
What always surprises me is you get into these arguments when you're running a business. This then reflects on your business - if this is an
attempt at keeping your business name clean then for me it doesn't work. It draws attention to you in the wrong light. What you want to be doing
is showing off the work you've done and get happy customers posting on here about how happy they are.
Right, i'm off for more headache pills and a lie down - if i've made a bad / dodgy / inappropriate / wrong / offensive or anything else
comment I'll apologise now. It wasn't intentional - I'm just trying to be helpful.
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cloudy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:03 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by mr hendersonThere are some who may feel that the whole thing is trivial, that it doesn’t matter, and that I am
making a fuss about nothing. Feel free to say that, if that is what you think.
^ This More driving, less chit chat!
www.warnercars.com
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fesycresy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:08 PM | |
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One question, have you sent him a u2u at all ?
I took someones post the wrong way once and u2u'd him, with my arse in my hands. He explained and I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion. I
apologised, all cool.
I may be reading in to this more than there is but, it seems odd you starting a thread having a dig at someone who also builds / finishes kits, albeit
(is that a word ?) he does it part time, where you appear to operate as a business.
People will clash, in real life or on forums, live with it, move on.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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prawnabie
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:20 PM | |
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Steve was obvioulsy drunk (he even admitted it) so I wouldn't take his comments to heart.
As posted before, you seem to fly off the handle very quickly to peoples posts, maybe you should think back to all the times various people have
helped you out with "customers cars" or finding that part to complete a job.
It seems you owe more to this forum than just paying for "trader staus" - you would be the one having to celebrate you were still in a job
if nobody help you out with your business.
Shaun
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UncleFista
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:22 PM | |
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All in my very humble opinion of course, but, you need to get out more if you take offence at that post.
Locostbuilders is probably the tamest forum on the 'net, if you posted in a lot of my other "haunts" you'd get much worse.
IMHO your posts "can" come across as condecending and a little pompous, not enough to cause offence, but enough to grate slightly.
This thread needs deleting
[Edited on 8/6/09 by UncleFista]
Tony Bond / UncleFista
Love is like a snowmobile, speeding across the frozen tundra.
Which suddenly flips, pinning you underneath.
At night the ice-weasels come...
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mr henderson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:24 PM | |
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OK, so most people feel the remark was trivial. I can live with that, beng called ridiculous is something that has to happen to a person before they
can really decide whether it's trivial or not
As for the U2u suggestions....WHY?
The comment was public, why does the reply have to be private? That doesn't make sense.
Still, most of you seem to think name calling is no big deal, so I will indulge in it too when I feel the desire. Shame, though, I think forums are so
much better without that sort of thing
John
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Jumpy Guy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:26 PM | |
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to the OP, and this might in inself be seen as 'beyond the pale', but what age are you?
I'm no spring chicken meself, but you seem to react in quite a 'victorian' fashion to this new-fangled internet thingy.
This isnt the same as a 'proper letter' insulting you. This is a chatty 'off the cuff' remark which I think is best looked at
as sarky banter.
Anyway, another 30 minutes and I'm leaving work. Hope I havent caused offense, but if I have.... then you need to get a thicker skin/out more.
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Steve G
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:30 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by mr henderson
Still, most of you seem to think name calling is no big deal, so I will indulge in it too when I feel the desire. Shame, though, I think forums are so
much better without that sort of thing
John
So there seems to be an opinion from more than one person that some of your posts come across as pompous etc, and then you feel the need to post that
you will in future resort to name calling seeing as "most people" seem to think its no big deal?? Doesnt seem like you are doing your
cause any great favours there to be honest
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mr henderson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:32 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by Jumpy Guy
to the OP, and this might in inself be seen as 'beyond the pale', but what age are you?
I'm no spring chicken meself, but you seem to react in quite a 'victorian' fashion to this new-fangled internet thingy.
This isnt the same as a 'proper letter' insulting you. This is a chatty 'off the cuff' remark which I think is best looked at
as sarky banter.
Anyway, another 30 minutes and I'm leaving work. Hope I havent caused offense, but if I have.... then you need to get a thicker skin/out more.
Personally I can't see what difference it makes whether it's a letter or what, a forum is a public place and making remarks about a person
in public is, to my mind, bad manners.
I'd be happy if you or anybody else could explain what difference the fact that the public place is on the internet makes, I just can't
see it myself, especially as I know several of the people here in person, and have met several others.
In any case, even if the remark was made in jest, or as a result of being drunk, there is an edit facility. I've had to use it myself from time
to time when I've realised I've gone a bit far.
John
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MikeR
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:36 PM | |
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John, you're missing the point completely.
I congratulate my team in public and bollock them in private. If we do something well I name the individual, if we do something badly it was "my
team" and therefore "me" that got it wrong as far as the world will see. I do not drag them through the mud kicking and screaming
for all the world to see - it looks bad on me, them and mostly everyone else remembers what a complete cock of a boss I am & will try not to work
on my projects.
If you disagree with someone's post, have a private chat with them about it. No one else on here wants to see your out pourings of righteous
indignation. If the person is decent and they didn't mean to cause offence they'll post an apology / clarification. If they didn't
it will be forgotten about in about 5 minutes anyway ..... all this does is make sure everyone remembers that you get upset about a comment &
don't let it go.
I would normally agree with the previous poster saying "please delete this post" but as you seem keen to have everything written down and
in the public eye, perhaps it should remain visible for people to use to form opinions on me, you and every other poster on here.
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fesycresy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:41 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by mr henderson
As for the U2u suggestions....WHY?
The comment was public, why does the reply have to be private? That doesn't make sense.
John
Perhaps he didn't re-visit the thread ? Perhaps he never saw your comments ?
A quick u2u would have drawn his attention to it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
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mr henderson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:44 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by fesycresy
Perhaps he didn't re-visit the thread ? Perhaps he never saw your comments ?
Yeah sure, I expect that's the reason, he made a comment like that and then didn't look to see if it provoked a reaction
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Jumpy Guy
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:51 PM | |
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Jings, you could start a riot in a phonebox.
Would it help if you called me a name, in a cathartic way?
I dont mind. Honest.
If people thought that I was a self-important, bumptious tw*t, then hey ho.
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Garage Clearout
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:52 PM | |
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As a Registered Trader you are doing your business no good at all by threads like this.
I don't use this forum much but looking through some older posts it does seem that you feel the need to post a reply or correct someone at every
chance.
I've seen this before on many forums, by which a member gains trader status and then feels a need to post a reply on every thread, not for any
real reason other than to promote their busness.
Take a look at other Manufacturers or Traders on here, Mnr, Mac 1, Mk, Tad etc, none of the above feel a need to reply on posts unless the question is
aimed towards them.
Don't take this as me saying you should stop reply post's or even using the site, but it may be more suitable to choose which threads you
contribute too in relation to your business.
Someone has mentioned it above though that you and Mr Hignett have similar business interest's, so maybe you challenging him like this on a
public forum is more about saying who's got the biggest love length 
[Edited on 7/6/09 by Garage Clearout]
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oldtimer
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 03:56 PM | |
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Personal digs on a public forum are petty and upsetting. I feel you will get no closure here Mr Henderson and your determination to air the conflict
is probably now doing you, rather than your verbal opponent, more harm than good if some comments are to be believed.
This particular dissagreement probably needs dropping as unresolvable. But no one should resort to nasty passive-agressive attacks on others on any
forum. I have been on the receiving end of a couple of nasty remarks - and it is very unpleasant. The first time a u2ud and got no reply. Now I just
ignore rudeness by others whilst really disliking it.
This is one of the best forums around. Lets keep it that way. A bit of respect for others costs nothing.
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mr henderson
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| posted on 7/6/09 at 04:02 PM | |
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quote:
Originally posted by Garage Clearout
I don't use this forum much but looking through some older posts it does seem that you feel the need to post a reply or correct someone at every
chance.
I've seen this before on many forums, by which a member gains trader status and then feels a need to post a reply on every thread, not for any
real reason other than to promote their busness.
Well, I think if you look at my posting frequency you will see that that is not the case. The vast majority of the posters here already know what I
do, and the little link in my signature is hardly a big business promotion.
Compare it with some of the others
John
ps
quote:
Originally posted by Garage Clearout
Someone has mentioned it above though that you and Mr Hignett have similar business interest's, so maybe you challenging him like this on a
public forum is more about saying who's got the biggest love length
I was completely unaware that he was in a similar business, and remind you that he started it by calling my posts ridiculous, so it's clear
which of us has the problem
[Edited on 7/6/09 by mr henderson]
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