nick205
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 posted on 11/5/12 at 08:09 PM |
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Window cleaner took a dump in my garden!
Got home this afternoon and was greeted by my neighbour who informed me she'd seen our window cleaner throwing a bag of rubbish over our back
fence. She'd tackled him about it asking why he hadn't put it in our wheelie bin which he has to walk past on the way out. He blanked
her and left quickly.
I was about to climb over the fence and retrieve it when I started thinking what on earth would he be throwing over the fence that he couldn't
put in the wheelie bin or take with him? After peering over the fence I realised he'd clearly taken a 5hit in a bag and seen fit to lob it over
my fence.......
Now I can understand the hazard of working outside with no access to a toilet and needing a 5hit. I can understand that it may, on occasion, be
unavoidable that you might have to deal with this situation and 5hitting in a bag seems a reasonable way out of it. BUT for F**K sake don't
throw it over my F*****G fence
on the flipside we owe him about 3 months money which he isn't getting - we'll also find a new window cleaner!
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T66
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:18 PM |
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Take him in your garden when he comes for the money, then tell him to ferk off.
Scruffy bastard, thow the bag of poo in his car, or at him....
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MkIndy7
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:19 PM |
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Sorry, but I've not laughed that hard for a while!
More worryingly is what did he wipe his A*se on.. Hope you didn't have any white towels on the line'
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Not Anumber
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:26 PM |
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Sure it wasnt because you hadn't paid him for 3 months ?:
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Slater
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:27 PM |
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Is that a Tonka truck in yer garden?
Why do they call Port Harcourt "The Garden City"?...... Becauase they can't spell Stramash.
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nick205
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:31 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by T66
Take him in your garden when he comes for the money, then tell him to ferk off.
Scruffy bastard, thow the bag of poo in his car, or at him....
That and many other vengeful thoughts have run through my head already - I do have his postal address come to think of it
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nick205
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:31 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Is that a Tonka truck in yer garden?
Yup, one of several cluttering the place up!
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T66
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:32 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Is that a Tonka truck in yer garden?
Its not big enough for that tan baby in the bag in the tree.....
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Benzine
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:32 PM |
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quite simply the best thread title ever XD
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FuryRebuild
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:34 PM |
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Again, best thread ever.
When all you have is a hammer, everything around you is a nail.
www.furyrebuild.co.uk
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OX
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:35 PM |
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pmsl, i know i shouldn't laugh but it reminded me of when i was plastering a mates barn conversion a few years back in the summer and got caught
short ,so went round the back and pooped in an empty plaster bag ,wrapped it up ,double bagged it and then thought what am i going to do with it. I
came to the conclusion that its best that i take it home with me so put it in the back of my van . 5 hours of scorching sunshine later and it was
time for home ,opened the van door and nearly passed out from the stench that hit me . Then my mate and his dad came to the barn to do some work on it
and i had to explain why i couldn't get in my van 
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eddie99
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:36 PM |
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Again thats cracked me up..... If you've got his postal address, stick it in a jiffy bag and send it his way 
http://www.elitemotorsporteng.co.uk/
Twitter: @Elitemotoreng
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Elite-Motorsport-Engineering/153409081394323
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NOTE:This user is registered as a LocostBuilders trader and may offer commercial services to other users
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austin man
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:37 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Slater
Is that a Tonka truck in yer garden?
I reckon the window cleaner thought it was a dumper truck
Life is like a bowl of fruit, funny how all the weird looking ones are left alone
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locoboy
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:37 PM |
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HaHa, that's funny!
We used to run lorries at work and one of the drivers called up one morning after nighting out in a layby up north and was not very happy. He awoke
and went to close the trailer rear doors to find someone (probably a fellow trucker that was sharing the layby with him) had climbed inside and shat
on the floor of his trailer and done a runner!
A friend of mine was a carpet salesman back in the 70 and he used to go to the new build developments and quote for carpeting a large number of new
homes. When onsite one time he was caught short and needed to go, the houses had no 'facilities' as yet and the only thing he could think
of using was the box from his shiny new safety boots that was still in the boot of his car.
Upon fetching the box and sneaking into an empty house and moving upstairs to get further away from any potential confrontations, he set about laying
one diagonally across the box and had it lapping up both opposing corners (his description not mine!) once finished and feeling mightily relieved he
heard people approaching and in a fit of panic he thought it best to hide the box somewhere, but in a fairly empty room there was nowhere obvious to
hide it apart from............... looking up he found something to stand on and just popped the loft hatch and pushed the box in to the loft and
replaced the hatch!
He to this day feels sorry for the tradesmen that may have been fitting tanks/pipes/cables in the loft later on in the build!!!!
i guess when you gotta go, you gotta go!
ATB
Locoboy
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CRAIGR
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:39 PM |
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Reckon he must have lobbed it from your bedroom window after panicking when you came home early.
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Stott
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:46 PM |
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I know a builder who when he's had a quiet day has poo in empty dewalt/makita boxes etc and left them on the side of the road while watching
from a distance, he's also found a poo in a dewalt box before so he says it's a comon joke.
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daniel mason
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:47 PM |
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and the moral of the story is 'clean your own windows' lol. great thread!
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contaminated
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:56 PM |
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Best thread ever. Sorry but
Tiger Super Six Independent
www.southernkitcars.com
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Slimy38
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 08:57 PM |
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We had an extension built, and we still don't know to this day how the two builders managed to work through the day for three months solid
without using our toilet...
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ReMan
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 09:03 PM |
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Good enough for me to continue to not ever trust a window cleaner
My windows arent looking great at the moment, but at least I've only got dog poo in my garden
www.plusnine.co.uk
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blakep82
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 09:44 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by nick205
on the flipside we owe him about 3 months money which he isn't getting
yep, thats your reason right there...
________________________
IVA manual link http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/detail?type=RESOURCES&itemId=1081997083
don't write OT on a new thread title, you're creating the topic, everything you write is very much ON topic!
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owelly
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 09:47 PM |
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quote:
Window cleaner took a dump in my garden!
Shouldn't that be "left a dump in my garden"?
http://www.ppcmag.co.uk
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Andybarbet
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 10:12 PM |
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Good job he didnt lob it over next door, judging by what looks to be a swimming pool in that photo, it would have been like a scene from Caddyshack
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balidey
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 10:48 PM |
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Yes, this guy did it, but.....
You photographed a bag of poo in your back garden and posted it on the internet
Dutch bears have terrible skin due to their clogged paws
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tegwin
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| posted on 11/5/12 at 11:02 PM |
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This thread is hillarious!
When I had my extension built the back wall of the house had to be taken down. This meant that the kitchen was gone, the heating was gone and the only
functioning bog was gone... For 3 weeks my lodger and I had to sh1t in buckets and carry them out into the street and pour them down the manhole at
the top of the drive..... I wont miss that.... or washing up the dishes after cooking on a camping stove by getting into the shower with them (self
heating electric shower) and rinsing the plates and yourself at the same time... its ok until you start getting pubes in the crockery box!
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Would the last person who leaves the country please switch off the lights and close the door!
www.verticalhorizonsmedia.tv
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