perksy
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| posted on 22/6/12 at 06:17 PM |
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Bloke i used to work with drove to the betting shop once which was about 2 miles away
He then walked back to work as he had forgotten he'd gone in his car 
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Peteff
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| posted on 23/6/12 at 07:56 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by perksy
Bloke i used to work with drove to the betting shop once which was about 2 miles away
He then walked back to work as he had forgotten he'd gone in his car
Done that, called at the local shop on the way home and come out with a bit of shopping then walked home about half a mile with carrier bag and
noticed the car wasn't outside as I got near the house so I walked back to the car still carrying the shopping so my wife didn't notice
yours, Pete
I went into the RSPCA office the other day. It was so small you could hardly swing a cat in there.
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RazMan
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| posted on 23/6/12 at 08:21 AM |
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I have had the same debit card PIN number for 35 years and must have used it thousands of times. Yesterday, after doing the weekly supermarket shop
(and using my card to pay) I stopped for fuel on the way home. While paying for the fuel I then had a senior moment and completely forgot my PIN! I
tried 3 times to enter it and eventually succeeded in locking my card!
Old age indeed sucks big time 
Cheers,
Raz
When thinking outside the box doesn't work any more, it's time to build a new box
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Simon
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| posted on 23/6/12 at 08:22 AM |
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Was removing old bathroom tiles last night, so went to garage to get some tools.
Get to bathroom and have one hammer, a screwdriver, a crowbar and a
boomerang
ATB
Simon
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40inches
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| posted on 26/6/12 at 09:40 AM |
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quote:
Originally posted by Simon
Was removing old bathroom tiles last night, so went to garage to get some tools.
Get to bathroom and have one hammer, a screwdriver, a crowbar and a
boomerang
ATB
Simon
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Confused but excited.
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| posted on 26/6/12 at 11:26 AM |
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It used to be, that my three golden rules for life were:
1) If it hasn't happened yet, it's too early to worry.
2) If it's already happened, it's too late to worry.
3) Never let an idiot ruin your day.
Now I'm old they are:
1) Never pass up the opportunity to have a pee.
2) Never waste an erection.
3) NEVER trust a fart!
Yep, getting old sucks, but make the most of it, 'cos you don't know how long it will last.
On the plus side, I ain't going to get anybody pregnant, unless I'm really, really lucky.
Tell them about the bent treacle edges!
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steve m
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| posted on 26/6/12 at 11:39 AM |
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Ive run upstairs to get somthing and forgotten (on the way up what it was i was after)
so ran back downstairs , and remembered, so back upstairs, and forgotten AGAIN
I actually was laughing, so much i gave up on this mission, and had a beer
steve
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Lightning
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| posted on 26/6/12 at 11:55 AM |
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quote:
Ive run upstairs to get somthing and forgotten (on the way up what it was i was after) so ran back downstairs , and remembered, so back upstairs, and
forgotten AGAIN I actually was laughing, so much i gave up on this mission, and had a beer steve
altitude does that for me too
Steve
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RK
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| posted on 3/7/12 at 02:24 AM |
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The doctor gave me memory pills. I kept forgetting to take them.
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HAL 1
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| posted on 3/7/12 at 07:27 AM |
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I was at the doctors about something when i mentioned that i was having trouble remembering things, he asked "when did you first notice this
?"
I said " i can't remember "
the look on his face was priceless
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Xtreme Kermit
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| posted on 3/7/12 at 04:24 PM |
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I remember this thread....
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SteveWalker
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| posted on 3/7/12 at 05:46 PM |
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My wife works in mental health and had to point out the management's lack of thought to them when they suggested automatically discharging
patients who forgot twice to turn up for their appointments to ...... the memory clinic!
SteveW
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trextr7monkey
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 10:10 AM |
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One of the joys of teaching is that every so often you witness true comedy -
I was supervising a scribe for a lad doing an A level Psychology exam.
Question 1 was something along the lines of "describe a technique for improving the ability to remember things",
clearly expecting Pnemenomics or something similar;
response fromthe dude:
"I think I know this but I can't remember it!
I had to go and look out of the window as I was pi***ng myself
atb Mike
ps Do you want a cup of tea?
pps Did I offer you a cup of tea?>
do you want a cup of tea?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14016102@N00/ (cut and paste this dodgey link)
Our most recent pics are here:
http://s129.photobucket.com/albums/p211/trextr7monkey/
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Mr Whippy
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 10:42 AM |
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I hate keys, I loose them all the time
Wife got me a beeping key ring so I could find them but the dogs didn't like the beeping noise so they chewed it to bits 
I did once manage to forget where my passport was and threw it in the bin with my old bike jacket, prob was when I did find out it was as we were
packing for our honeymoon!  , I was not too popular. Big thanks to the Edinburgh passport place for saving the day, I am banned from the passports
now...
[Edited on 6/7/12 by Mr Whippy]
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James
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 11:10 AM |
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Having bought some food using my card I went to the station and either I was late (me? ) or the machine didn't work so I got straight on the
train.
Went straight to the guard to ask for a ticket... and couldn't remember pin! HE was pretty good and let me have a think for 30mins or so but I
couldn't remember it and probably had locked it out by then. I managed to convince a friend to meet me at Waterloo with a valid ticket and pass
it over the barrier to me so I didn't get a fine.
Have never remembered it since!
I was only 33 at the time!
James
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses, behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights."
- Muhammad Ali
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steve m
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 11:25 AM |
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James
Your only about 33 NOW!
ive got 19 years on you
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vanepico
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 12:04 PM |
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I wish I was as good at making jokes as you guys
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Macbeast
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 01:50 PM |
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I have to make up about 50 DVD sleeves. The background printed artwork will probably be mainly very dark or black. This is going to be very heavy on
the black ink so I had a brainwave.
I was halfway out the door to go and buy black paper when I realised ..........
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop anytime.
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trextr7monkey
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 02:17 PM |
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Do you want a cup of tea? :d
http://www.flickr.com/photos/14016102@N00/ (cut and paste this dodgey link)
Our most recent pics are here:
http://s129.photobucket.com/albums/p211/trextr7monkey/
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spiderman
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| posted on 6/7/12 at 03:14 PM |
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quote:
Originally posted by trextr7monkey
Do you want a cup of tea? :d
......do you take sugar in your coffee?
Spider
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